concernedfriend
New member
Hi everyone, my name is Jeff, 22, Filipino. I'm new here. I just came across this site and i though i might be able to find some help here.
To start off, i don't have HH. and before recently, i wasn't even aware that excessive sweating actually had a medical term. the thing is, as you may have deducted from the title, that i have a very close friend who has HH, the kind that's all over the body, particularly his hands and feet. its a pretty touchy topic, even just between the two of us. he's very conscious and secretive about it, and he only told me about his condition a while back after i shared one of my biggest secrets to him (he considers his condition his own deepest darkest secret).
Even then, I've never though of HH as such a bad thing and i though he was just overreacting. sure, he always has to bring extra t-shirts and towels wherever he goes, and i could understand why that makes him cringe away from most physical contact (arm around the shoulder, pat on the back, high-five, ect.) and even girls. but what i couldn't understand was why he was so secretive about it, and why it so negatively affected his confidence. i mean, its not as if excessive sweating is unheard of, especially in my tropical country, but sometimes he'd open up and act as if his HH was a cosmic joke and he'd been condemned to a life without the possibility of happiness. or to that effect. as if he would never be accepted in society because of his condition, even though i, and the few other people who know about it, accept him completely.
one night, when he was staying over at my house, i was sort of undermining the horrors of HH and he snapped back at me angrily. surprised and taken aback, i kept my mouth shut for the rest of the night. since then, i'd been making an effort to understand more about HH, and about why he though of it as such a curse. i did quite some research online. i found info on HH and some forums. and i was like wow. i never thought of sweating as such a handicap, and i hated myself for insisting otherwise. that very same day, i told him about my research. he was surprised of course, but in a good way, as if somehow i convinced him that i really do care and at least try to understand what he goes through everyday.
since then, he's started opening up more to me about his problem, and even though i can't relate with him, i try to be supportive. i try to boost his confidence and lighten him up. i told him that there are plenty of people who would accept him the way i do, even girls (he's a pretty good-looking dude, and smart and nice with just the right amount of eccentricity, so i'd assume some girls wouldn't mind the HH). but what happened after this heartfelt pep-talk? not only did he disagree; he also cried while disagreeing. i shut up. it was worse than that time he snapped at me. since then, i've resigned to treat his HH like some grave, socially terminal condition. like AIDS, or a micropenis.
but i still wanna help him. maybe my approach is wrong, i dunno. i think most people reading this have HH, so i need to ask: is there anyone here who was able to better accept their HH because of a friend? how did he/she do it? or does anyone have any advice for me, based on my story? it would be much appreciated..
To start off, i don't have HH. and before recently, i wasn't even aware that excessive sweating actually had a medical term. the thing is, as you may have deducted from the title, that i have a very close friend who has HH, the kind that's all over the body, particularly his hands and feet. its a pretty touchy topic, even just between the two of us. he's very conscious and secretive about it, and he only told me about his condition a while back after i shared one of my biggest secrets to him (he considers his condition his own deepest darkest secret).
Even then, I've never though of HH as such a bad thing and i though he was just overreacting. sure, he always has to bring extra t-shirts and towels wherever he goes, and i could understand why that makes him cringe away from most physical contact (arm around the shoulder, pat on the back, high-five, ect.) and even girls. but what i couldn't understand was why he was so secretive about it, and why it so negatively affected his confidence. i mean, its not as if excessive sweating is unheard of, especially in my tropical country, but sometimes he'd open up and act as if his HH was a cosmic joke and he'd been condemned to a life without the possibility of happiness. or to that effect. as if he would never be accepted in society because of his condition, even though i, and the few other people who know about it, accept him completely.
one night, when he was staying over at my house, i was sort of undermining the horrors of HH and he snapped back at me angrily. surprised and taken aback, i kept my mouth shut for the rest of the night. since then, i'd been making an effort to understand more about HH, and about why he though of it as such a curse. i did quite some research online. i found info on HH and some forums. and i was like wow. i never thought of sweating as such a handicap, and i hated myself for insisting otherwise. that very same day, i told him about my research. he was surprised of course, but in a good way, as if somehow i convinced him that i really do care and at least try to understand what he goes through everyday.
since then, he's started opening up more to me about his problem, and even though i can't relate with him, i try to be supportive. i try to boost his confidence and lighten him up. i told him that there are plenty of people who would accept him the way i do, even girls (he's a pretty good-looking dude, and smart and nice with just the right amount of eccentricity, so i'd assume some girls wouldn't mind the HH). but what happened after this heartfelt pep-talk? not only did he disagree; he also cried while disagreeing. i shut up. it was worse than that time he snapped at me. since then, i've resigned to treat his HH like some grave, socially terminal condition. like AIDS, or a micropenis.
but i still wanna help him. maybe my approach is wrong, i dunno. i think most people reading this have HH, so i need to ask: is there anyone here who was able to better accept their HH because of a friend? how did he/she do it? or does anyone have any advice for me, based on my story? it would be much appreciated..
