Emma,
There really is hope. I have read too much and talked too much to people who have been through horrible times and have come through it to believe anything else.
Not sure where your deep dark hole covered with dirt is located so I don't know if information about the US is usefull here.
In the US, I believe there is some variation. A psychiatrist is a person given the legal right to commit someone against their will to a mental hospital if they feel that person is a danger to themselves or others.(a psychologist cannot do this) There doesn't seem to be a desire on the part of the psychiatric community to hold people any longer than deemed critical - in fact there is much more tendency to put people out of hospitalization sooner than family members desire (fearing their loved one will harm themselves but not being able to have them stay in a hospital). I believe that typically if you check yourself in - you can check yourself out but there would be special circumstances around that (i.e. if a resident psychiatrist thought you might harm yourself). I have talked with people in a social anxiety group at my church who have been hospitalized. No one said the hospital was a bad experience - they seem to recall the emotional pain that brought them there more than the actual experience of the hospital itself.
A friend of mine was so broken emotionally from her life at the time (her infant had multiple cancerous brain tumors and her husband was being cruel beyond description) that she asked her therapist about a psych hospital. She was so emotionally drained that she felt she couldn't function anymore. He looked at her quietly before saying "Do you realize I could have you committed against your will?" She suddenly became nervous. He said that for effect - he seemed to want her to use caution before saying such things. He was of the opinion that, based on where she was located, psychiatric available locally was not useful. Prior to some laws passed to 'free people' from mental hospitals - hospitalization used to mean that the person received therapy and support. After the laws were passed - many programs were stripped down to become bed rest and tranquilizers. My therapist indicated much the same - if a person wanted to be hospitalized in the US - they should make sure to find a good theraputic program and check in there - not just assume that the hospital near them or their families would be useful. Good programs (where staff are trained to actually help rather than only bedrest/tranquilizers) are availabe - I know of someone who was hospitalized and recieved daily counseling and antidepressants when her baby died and she didn't want to live. She emerged much stronger and able to go on living.) So if you do choose hospitalization at some point - it would be good to find out what kind of programs are available. Of the people I have spoken with who have climbed out of dark holes of depression and loss, they usually report that they were helped by their spiritual faith, medication (carefully given - not just 'take a pill'), counseling, support groups. I am wishing hugs your way.
8O
