mean girls and SA

[lildreamer721]

I was at my bf's apartment the other day and his roommate had about 5 guys over and 2 girls. I didn't know the guys but when I met them but they were really friendly and I was fine, my SA didn't bother me. As soon as the girls walked in the room, I felt extremely uncomfortable and as if I didn't belong. This happens whenever my bf's roommate's gf is in the room. She is always very unfriendly towards me, even when I have tried to be friendly I get nothing back. Her and the other girl don't say "hello" or smile at me. Hell, they don't even give me dirty looks. Basically I don't exist when I am in the presence. I don't know if its the fact that they are in the same sorority, go to the same school and are roommates and are so close minded that they can't accept me or if it's all in my head. They aren't the only girls this happens with either. This happens with this girl my bf's best friend knows and has to hang out with us all the time. I do well with just the guys and then she comes around and changes that. She makes me feel so damn uncomfortable she gives me panick attacks nearly everytime I either see her, or know I am going to be seeing her. I am almost positive these girls are playing weird trippy mind games that girls play in order to make me feel out of place, although I can't say so for sure. I am sick and tired of these girls having this power over me. It's hard for me to let it roll off my back when I feel so damn uncomfortable. It would be nice if we could get along but at this pont even if we don't acknowledge each other and go on ignoring each other, it would be nice to at least not feel like I don't belong. It's not all girls because I know a few who I get along with and are nice and I feel comfortable with but it makes me wonder if it's their issues they need to work out or if i'm doing something wrong (I don't think it's me...I may be extremely shy but i'm also very nice). Obviously none of you can tell me what they are thinking because only they know that but have any of you had any experience with this? Any tips?

 

[moodygoo]

Its hard to say since I'm not there at the time but it sounds like you don't really have any concrete evidence that they dislike you.
Some people can be really closed off to strangers like that. They have their friends already and don't see the point in making an effort with strangers.
I know the feeling but, unlike you, its generally my fault for not making the effort.

And its probably a SA trait cos I tend to assume people hate me and are analysing my every move if they stay quiet and don't prove otherwise.
As for tips I think just keep saying hi and then keep reminding yourself that you're doing nothing wrong and they have no reason to dislike you and if they do then why would you want to know them any better? Easier said than done I know. Sorry if its a bit useless.

 

[yay]

sigh

If only we had a perfect world

It's okay i know how you feel. That used to happen to me. Wait, nope it still happens. Try not to worry about it. Those girls aren't worth panicking over about. Either you be more ethusiastic, or pretend like they don't exist i hope that helps. Maybe you'll intimidate them o.o who knows. That's what i do and people get intimidated haha

 

[lildreamer721]

You're right that I have no real evidence that they don't like me but because I am a very intuitive person and can generally tell what other people are feeling and thinking and because I get such a strong negative reaction towards these girls, I assume that they are girls to stay away from as much as possible and that they don't like me (i probably just made that last part up though). Everytime I think about this I tell myself that next time I am going to ignore them and do my thing and, although I won't be exactly social, I will not feel so uncomfortable just because of them. Then I see them and all of a sudden the only thing i can focus on is how uncomfortable I feel and that it is all their fault and then I get angry and imagine myself punching them in the face. It sucks.