Johnny5
New member
Well I have SA... I used to have it alot worse in school like when I thought about going to school I would get this kind of feel in my chest that felt like water... I was always afraid to show emotion incase I was judged(which happens alot in school) and even when I was walking down a carridor I always walked like a tough guy just so people wouldnt judge me even though they did anyway cos I was overweight and if I did get into a fight more then likely I would of lost :wink:
My mother died when I was 11 and I stayed with my father and I am now 19 and I havent really went out since then, I do not drink so people saying "just pop down to the pub" doesnt work for me, I am still overweight so clubs are a no-go and I dont really have any friends(I am thinking about getting in contact with my old school friends) so I cannot just plan to go out and expect a good time.
In work we are going to do a play (I am the bad guy in it) and everyone keeps talking over me and this is hitting my self esteem bad and I actually said to them "I am involved in this too!" and there response was "lol you dont talk shit like we do, you just listen and take everything in and then come out with a good answer on the spot" while this may of been praise I DONT WANT TO BE THE QUIET GUY!!!
I was very hyper as a child and I had alot of friends and was popular (which I cant believe the more I look back on it) and I want to be like that again but I dont know how.
My main problems and causes were/are:
mother dying at young age
overweight
stayed in teenage years so I am not good at mixing
turn into a shy wreck when around girls because I dont know how to connect on an emotional level because I havent lived with a girl/woman for over 8 years
although when I get angry all this seems to disappear and I am like "yeah so what think whatever you want you f'er and" but I dont want to be angry all the time.
Also I get angry alot because I take people up wrong on what they say and hold long grudges over stupid things and I can get very very dirty in a word fight (like bringing up their dead relatives etc) I have been told this is more childish then bad because in some ways I am still 11
OK my rant is over :lol: does this sound fimilar to anyone?
My mother died when I was 11 and I stayed with my father and I am now 19 and I havent really went out since then, I do not drink so people saying "just pop down to the pub" doesnt work for me, I am still overweight so clubs are a no-go and I dont really have any friends(I am thinking about getting in contact with my old school friends) so I cannot just plan to go out and expect a good time.
In work we are going to do a play (I am the bad guy in it) and everyone keeps talking over me and this is hitting my self esteem bad and I actually said to them "I am involved in this too!" and there response was "lol you dont talk shit like we do, you just listen and take everything in and then come out with a good answer on the spot" while this may of been praise I DONT WANT TO BE THE QUIET GUY!!!
I was very hyper as a child and I had alot of friends and was popular (which I cant believe the more I look back on it) and I want to be like that again but I dont know how.
My main problems and causes were/are:
mother dying at young age
overweight
stayed in teenage years so I am not good at mixing
turn into a shy wreck when around girls because I dont know how to connect on an emotional level because I havent lived with a girl/woman for over 8 years
although when I get angry all this seems to disappear and I am like "yeah so what think whatever you want you f'er and" but I dont want to be angry all the time.
Also I get angry alot because I take people up wrong on what they say and hold long grudges over stupid things and I can get very very dirty in a word fight (like bringing up their dead relatives etc) I have been told this is more childish then bad because in some ways I am still 11
OK my rant is over :lol: does this sound fimilar to anyone?