Maybe there is hope afterall

[Johnny_Charm]

Hey guys... I only posted here a few times so you might not remember me. I don't say much (even on this forum apparently), but I feel like this is something I need to express in one way or another. Here goes.

I'm not in a completely desperate situation, but I've come to realize my shyness has led to me losing my friends (not picking up the phone, ignoring IMs), and feeling really worthless. Not quite depressed, just a general feeling of not being a very significant person... Why do I feel the need to be a significant person in this world or to somebody - I don't even know the answer to that. All I know is I don't want to be sad anymore.

I don't know if anybody else is like this, but I always feel the need to change for other people. It's embarrassing to admit, but I know it's only because I want to be somebody who's liked by everyone... I always forfeit who I am to try to be the nice guy in every situation, avoid conflict as much as I can, but it always backfires on me. I just end up getting walked on by other people... and taking it . I'm always pretending to be somebody I'm not... and it's starting to really wear me down. Even to the point where I become a jerk in order to change the 'getting walked on' conundrum... but I always end up hurt in the end (so I know that will never get me anywhere either)

So I guess I don't know what else to do but to try my hand at being myself for once. I guess I'd rather go the honest route than anything else. I'm giving up being a jerk, too. I can't take it anymore. Whenever I put on that mask I end up feeling so terrible. I don't even care anymore if I'm a pussy, either. I guess in the end, I'd rather be the nice guy. Just not the nice guy who changes back and forth in order to get people to like him.

So yeah... I know it was probably boring, but that's my story. I've always wondered if anybody else feels the way I do in all this.

 

[MikeG]

Ive was like that for years. Always was the person that gave my last dollar, but never got anything in return. I started to feel bad for myself. I tried to be somone I was not. I tried everything.

But then I realized that people are more drawn to the real you. Even if your shy, a real nice person will not give up trying to figure the real you out.

Ive been me for 10 years now. And I cant imagine changing for no one. And I hope one day you do the same. It is very hard to do, but you can do it.

Also maybe talk to your Doc about it. Let him know how you being shy hrts your social life. Maybe he can set you up with group meetings and the will help you cope with the fears you might have. And at the same time learn how to talk to people and practice showing people the real you.

I know how you feel. And I hope these words help you to know your not alone.

 

[Johnny_Charm]

Thanks. I know I feel a lot better and people tend to gravitate toward me more when I'm just being myself, but it's pretty hard sometimes. I guess I just reached that point where I don't care about being a pussy anymore, I'd rather keep being the nice, shy guy who admits his faults and is honest over the jerk I feel like I've become. I'm sick of being to constantly tense