many "normal" people are just as insecure!

[xtina_fan81]

So people without SA, who quite normally go out and do what they want,with who they want, and have friendships and relationships like a "normal" person are full of self-acceptance that they found within THEMSELVES? I dont think so. What i hate is people who have never experienced SA or feeling so incredibly alone telling me that i need to accept myself and be ok with being alone before i can let anyone else in, but how the hell would they know?? Theyve never had to deal with stuff on their own, theyve ALWAYS had people there with them,and thats where theyve found acceptance. They can just easily talk to people and end up with many more aquaintances that make them feel good about themselves. Theres just so many people who have never been on their own long enough to have be "OK" with it. Just because they dont have a recognised problem. People without SA, just find it easier to cover up their insecurities by fuling that void with another person,. What im saying is that i dont believe its all about this self-acceptance stuff. majority of people without SA just find acceptance in other people and since it is much easer for them to socialise and make friends, theres never a problem. its not because they theyve had time on their own and built up their self esteem that they have an amazing social life. bottom line, IF THESE PEOPLE DIDNT HAVE ANYONE, 95% OR MORE WOULD NOT BE OK WITH IT. IT IS JUST EASY TO GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE TO FILL THE INSECURITY, SO ITS NEVER AN ISSUE.

as SA suffers, we just have half the amount of options than people without it to fill the gaps. Everyone could be just as insecure as us and a large amount probably are, but it is 10 times easier for them to quickly fix it, so its never becomes a big problem or anything they are told they need help for.

i hope i made sense, this has been bothering me for awhile.

 

[notepad]

seems sensible, but yet, it'd be better for us to be "them" with insecurities rather than us with insecurities and no social life :-(,

but oh well, ur right though... with all the anxiety its just hard to admit simple things like the things u've just said ^^


PS : I LOVE that short poem of urs

 

[xtina_fan81]

seems sensible, but yet, it'd be better for us to be "them" with insecurities rather than us with insecurities and no social life :-(,

oh yeah definitely, i was just saying that i hate when people make out that everyone who has this amazing social life are apparently all the people who are totally happy with themselves, like thats the reason theyve got it all? Load of crap. I hate that when we have SA we are automatically a victim of all these other things and when we are unhappy with something its all a big insecurity issue like we are the only ones with it.

 

[Jellybeans]

yep. the difference between SA and non SA people is how much attention we give our faults. most people don't care, they just get up and try again. try enough, and something's gotta give.

quit obsessing! that's the best advice anyone's ever given me, and it WORKS

 

[of_darkness]

there's no fucking difference, we're just a bit messed up from experience, I think.

We're all victims in our minds when really noone is perfect. Not everyone wears amazing clothes, not everyone has amazingly faultless lives and everyone gets nervous, sad, depressed, and even shy.

You're right. We're just narrowly social thinkers. If I'm in a situation I cut off and even forget to try and talk! What seems dreadfully unfair and uniquely full of strange problems that "we people" have, is just us overreacting. Everyone gets it, they just escape easier.

so rather than changing your awful life, change the reactions. Simple, it's the root of a lot of problems... either way life will be hard, noone gets it easy