lots of problems

[gomerpyle]

hi, for one im an in and out shutin what i mean is ever sine i was 13 ive had problems with freinds, strangers etc i think it all started when i got bad acne i started thinking i was ugly and judging myself and so on. i wasnt a shutin at 13 though that started around 16 but i would be a shutin for months at a time than come out of it till something else drove me to be a shutin again. since 2001 ive been a shutin i only left a couple times to the denist i have no more freinds a freind i was counting on wanted nothing to do with me anymore and i havent heard from him since (i was freinds with him since like 5 yearsold or so). its gotten to the point where i cant even talk to people on the phone the only way i can interact with people is while online and thats not like the real thing. im on one anti-depressent called remron or something but really hasnt helped the only thing it did do is get me addicted to them. since i have such poor grammar its hard for me to explain my issuies but ive always had a troubled youth due to my mother being not mentally stable and she always tried to kill herself and going into mental hostiptals im not blaming this on her though. i find myself actually talking to myself i can actually hold conversatins with myself and with my family while im talking to them or when i went to the denist or whatever my mind would try and get me to say stuff i didnt mean? like my mind told me to emabaress myself i didnt do it but i was fighting it back. in other words i want to know where to start how do i get better? whats the first steps i should take?

thanks

 

[gomerpyle]

oh andd if it matters right now im 24, i only completed sophmore in highschool and as you can see im running out of time so if i keep this up i prob will be a shutin for the rest of my life. im not doing this for attention this is the first time EVER that ive told this stuff (family exluded) to anyone

 

[gomerpyle]

xabbyx, thank you for respnsing and reading my long bad grammar post. the problem is i cant leave the house at all or i only leave the house when i really really have no choice. what im wondering though do you talk to yourself? do you think of things in your mind that you dont mean and worried about shouting them out?

 

[gomerpyle]

hey thanks a bunch for your suggestions if you or anyone else want to aim me my name is roostermint i have crazy hours so i dont know maybe if you want to chat you could leave your aim name? dont worry if you dont want to i dont mind rejection of any kind on the net

cya