vernacular
New member
Hello,
I was dating a guy for the past couple of months and really liked him. I found out he had ocd and he was in therapy for it but thought it is not a big deal. He was definitely a perfectionist - everything was super organized at his house, he always noticed the smallest things about my appearance - if i had a pimple on my face or a hole in my stocking or my belt was a little out of place, he always had to go and clean himself before having sex and all things like that which did not bother me because i really liked him. I thought we had a connection - we had both great time sexually and also outside the bedroom. We went on trips together and spend lots of time together. Then all of a sudden one day he told me he was breaking up with me because he was really upset that i have not beeen able to have an orgasm with him yet and that really bothered him. He said that he was a very intolerant person and that bothered him even though he did think that our sex life was amazing but he just could not deal with the fact that i have not experienced an orgasm with him yet while all the girls he dated before were able to. I was really shocked - it made me feel like it was my fault that i could not experience an orgasm, plus it takes me longer time to experience an orgasm with someone who i just have been seeing for a couple of months. it was a non - issue to me and i knew it will happen - it jsut every girl is different in that respect when they are with a new guy. Also i thought it was really weird that he said that all the girls were able to have an orgasm with him before since i know that a lot of my girlfriends say that usually takes them a good couple of months dating a guy and stuff. Also i thought that was a veery superficial reason to break up with someone and if you care about them and especially if your sex life is great( which he did say he enjoyed our sex life and he was able to have orgasms all the time) but his issue was that he was frustrated with me. I am just very hurt - i think that is an awful reason to break up with someone and he said that that was the real reason. Also, the guy is 45, never been married or had a live in girlfriend. He said he is a perfectionist in his relationships and that he does not beleive in working issues out...Please, give me a perspective - if you have ocd are things like that important? It had never been an issue with any guy i dated and this guy made me feel like it is my fault. Also he never brought it up in conversations before so i had no idea it was bothering him and then he just broke up with me over it. Is his ocd the reason to make him think that? Can i change that?
I was dating a guy for the past couple of months and really liked him. I found out he had ocd and he was in therapy for it but thought it is not a big deal. He was definitely a perfectionist - everything was super organized at his house, he always noticed the smallest things about my appearance - if i had a pimple on my face or a hole in my stocking or my belt was a little out of place, he always had to go and clean himself before having sex and all things like that which did not bother me because i really liked him. I thought we had a connection - we had both great time sexually and also outside the bedroom. We went on trips together and spend lots of time together. Then all of a sudden one day he told me he was breaking up with me because he was really upset that i have not beeen able to have an orgasm with him yet and that really bothered him. He said that he was a very intolerant person and that bothered him even though he did think that our sex life was amazing but he just could not deal with the fact that i have not experienced an orgasm with him yet while all the girls he dated before were able to. I was really shocked - it made me feel like it was my fault that i could not experience an orgasm, plus it takes me longer time to experience an orgasm with someone who i just have been seeing for a couple of months. it was a non - issue to me and i knew it will happen - it jsut every girl is different in that respect when they are with a new guy. Also i thought it was really weird that he said that all the girls were able to have an orgasm with him before since i know that a lot of my girlfriends say that usually takes them a good couple of months dating a guy and stuff. Also i thought that was a veery superficial reason to break up with someone and if you care about them and especially if your sex life is great( which he did say he enjoyed our sex life and he was able to have orgasms all the time) but his issue was that he was frustrated with me. I am just very hurt - i think that is an awful reason to break up with someone and he said that that was the real reason. Also, the guy is 45, never been married or had a live in girlfriend. He said he is a perfectionist in his relationships and that he does not beleive in working issues out...Please, give me a perspective - if you have ocd are things like that important? It had never been an issue with any guy i dated and this guy made me feel like it is my fault. Also he never brought it up in conversations before so i had no idea it was bothering him and then he just broke up with me over it. Is his ocd the reason to make him think that? Can i change that?