Lost another friend..

[Victoria]

I feel so sad tonight. Today someone who I thought I was becoming friends with was so cold to me. Pretty much hints that hes done with me and tells me I prob wont ever hear from him again. The whole conversation lasted about three minutes. He wouldn't explain why. We got along really well, and then all of a sudden this happens.. How can people be so cold? I keep blaming myself becuase I just don't understand it. How am I supposed to get over my social issues when most people I meet either treat me poorly or hurt me?

 

[Passingthru]

Victoria, you do not seem to have any reason to blame yourself for this incident. Quite possibly you have not lost this fellow as a friend. He may have been going through his own ordeal that he was unwilling or afraid to share with you. Give him a little time and check with him later, telling him that you were concerned about him.

 

[doogiebklyn]

Hi Victoria,

How long had you known him, where did you meet? Were you on the same wavelength as to the definitions of your relationship? I constantly blame myself for things that affect me, even if I know it's the other persons fault. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Douglas

 

[HexNoir]

The best way to view these things is realistically. Blaming yourself might be your immediate response, but I assure you this is probably not your fault at all. Also, was this friendship or a relationship? This could differ a lot - if it was a friendship, he's a jackass. IF it was a relationship, he just probably wasn't feeling the vibe.

Listen, don't blame yourself. It'll only make you feel worse. Step outside of yourself and assess everything realistically and clearly before you make assumptions. And if all else fails, ask questions.

 

[DDaKidd]

Hello Victoria,

Don't blame yourself. He is the one to blame, not you.

What you have to do is think that you have done everything correctly, and that you can make another friend anytime you want because you already made one.

I know it is hard to forget someone, and I also know that making a friend takes its time, because something similar has happened to me. Be strong, and try your best in finding a new person that could be your friend.

Try speaking with the friend that left you, if somehow you can speak to him and ask him why he was so cold around you, it will make you feel better and possibly be friends again. Good luck!

 

[Victoria]

I met him only 2.5 months ago. And I met him online. We were just friends, but we were hanging out every day for almost two months. I havn't seen him or heard a word from him since that night. He never replied to my email about why he was done with me. But after a few days i've managed to feel much better about it. When I went to his house to get my things that other day he sayd something about having a roomate all of a sudden, and I heard a kid inside the house. It's obvious that something that had nothing to do with me complicated his life. He may have gone about his choice to stop hanging out with me in a mean way, but I don't think I did anything. Thank you all for your replies. I get down on myself really easy sometimes, expecially when it comes to keeping or making friends becuase I have an awful time with it. Im getting better though =)