Looking for some advice

[kutuup]

Hey guys, i was just looking for some advice i guess.

I have a powerful phobia that i get the impression that people around me, even my girlfriend have a hard time understanding.

I find myself constantly worrying about people i love, in this case my girlfriend, being involved in any kind of promiscuous activity, while we are dating or after we have parted, which i hope wont happen any time soon.

I find the thought of her behaving promiscuously or people behaving in that way towards her utterly horrific. If she goes out without me i have a terrible fear of her being treated in a perverse or promiscuous manner, or sometimes even being raped! I also have a powerful fear that if we break up she will allow herself to be treated like that, or will be treated as such without allowing it!

I find the whole concept of promiscuity utterly horrible and frightening.

I find that in a relationship, especially with this one since my girlfriend is very vunerable at times and has low self esteem issues and is very innocent at heart, i fall in love very intensely and this fear becomes almost soul destroying.

Also, she very often makes jokes about promiscuous behavior and i have to laugh along even though i find it very worrying and frightening.

This may be a little too persoanl but i feel it is neccessary to add but just recently, me and my girlfriend were uh, having sex and she asked me if i could be a bit rougher, in as many words. i was frightened by this in that i became very scared that she was begginning to enjoy behaviour such as that which i see as being promiscuous or perverse.

I suppose i wanted to know if anyone else has this kind of fear and has any advice on how it can be helped.

Thank you in advance for any replies.

 

[mad_mad_woman]

Sounds like you are overreacting. Relax and enjoy this time with your girlfriend. Just because a girl is shy, it does not mean that she will allow others to take advantage of her in that way. You are assuming far too much and worrying for nothing.

 

[kutuup]

first, thank you very much for your reply, and second, i agree with what you are saying but (im sorry if i didnt make this clear) the problem is that i realise it is an irrational worry and almost pointless but i still feel it, you know? thats what troubles and upsets me

 

[tommydog]

loosen up matey

enjoy your relationship, why waste time worrying.

i dont know if you carry on with her and come across as controlling and paranoid, even if you dont, she can feel your worrying vibe believe me.

the relationship has every chance of breaking up because of your paranoid thinking, imagine how much you will regret your behaviour then, and wish you just chilled ?

Just enjoy it, stop worrying, and good luck, i hope it goes great guns for you.