Living with being unlucky and single

[sickofbeinglonely]

I don't know what to do anymore. The last few weeks I've had nothing but bad luck - things going wrong in my life. I've been very depressed and have found it difficult to reach out to anybody. I really need a good friend at the moment and I wish it could be a woman.

Last week I felt really down and that there was nothing to live for. Then just as I thought things couldn't get any worse I had a phone call last Friday from the father of one of my friends who I used to be very close to. It was to tell me that he'd died.

The last few days I've been trying to get over the shock. My friend had kept himself to himself for a long time. He'd always been a bit of a loner.

I never appreciate valentine's day as I don't consider I've ever had a proper girlfriend. I wasn't feeling too bad about it this year. I was going to be meeting up with a girl who is about ten years younger than me who I've been corresponding with by email since last October. I'm not in love with her but I've not met up with her before and I was looking forward to it. She keeps changing her mind about when to meet up and when to talk on the phone.

I was hoping that something might come of this as it's impossible for me to meet women and my self-esteem has been so low. A few hours ago I read her most recent text message with regards to meeting up. She said she couldn't talk last night because she was spending time with her boyfriend. She hasn't mentioned having a boyfriend before and, even without all the bad luck I've had recently, I think I would have been gutted anyway as I had stupidly believed she was single and was interested in me.

Now I don't know what to do. I feel that it's never going to happen and my life has just been a complete waste of time. How am I ever supposed to attract a woman in the state I'm in? I feel just like giving up on everything...

 

[Chilling__Echo]

you can't depend your happiness on whether you have a significant other or not. i made the same mistake. you never know what will happen in the future, what will be will be.

i used to be deadset on finding my husband asap before it was too late and i'm so afraid of ending up alone. but i had to realize that you're not going to find anyone in that mindset. you might become clingy, or settle for less and be unhappy anyway.

women are attracted to confidense, yes, so if you only get your confidense from having a partner, it only hurts you in the end. just live your life and try and be as happy as you can even without a ladyfriend. love will find you when you least expect it, be open to it, but don't stop living your life because you don't have it.

your life has to be in order before you can bond with someone else, and your time will come. there's someone out there. until then, don't let it get you down, there are more single people than you think and you never know who you're going to meet in the future. nobody can predict the future. go out and have fun, make some friends, or go out with the ones you have good luck and feel better, things always pass[/i]

 

[Chilling__Echo]

by the way i'm really sorry about your friend, it's like everything is hitting you at once, like i say, the pain will pass! stay out of the house and change your environment up to keep yourself busy. get a hobby, volunteer, work, take a walk, take a vacation, fly to the moon, whatever it takes :wink:

 

[knglerxt]

you can't depend your happiness on whether you have a significant other or not. i made the same mistake. you never know what will happen in the future, what will be will be.

i used to be deadset on finding my husband asap before it was too late and i'm so afraid of ending up alone. but i had to realize that you're not going to find anyone in that mindset. you might become clingy, or settle for less and be unhappy anyway.

women are attracted to confidense, yes, so if you only get your confidense from having a partner, it only hurts you in the end. just live your life and try and be as happy as you can even without a ladyfriend. love will find you when you least expect it, be open to it, but don't stop living your life because you don't have it.

your life has to be in order before you can bond with someone else, and your time will come. there's someone out there. until then, don't let it get you down, there are more single people than you think and you never know who you're going to meet in the future. nobody can predict the future. go out and have fun, make some friends, or go out with the ones you have good luck and feel better, things always pass[/i]

Noboby can predict the future, but you can make an educated guess about what's going to happen based on past experiences. This is why I'm not optimistic about my future. I've been around long enough to figure some things out, and it doesn't seem to me that I'm going to meet anybody in a reasonable amount of time. 30 or 40 years old is not reasonable to me. I'm 24 now, and I think I'm on the verge of unreasonable.

 

[Angie_05]

I agree with Chilling Echo.

Also, I've been in several relationships and they've caused a lot of pain, frustration, and annoyance. I am in a serious relationship now and we are doing great, but we both know that we need our own space too. It gets rough at times, trying to make everything work when the world gets in our way. Some of the most memorable times in my life were spending time alone, single, doing something that no one else would understand.

I agree that love is unpredictable. If I were you, I would give up on the "text message" girl and find someone else.

My most meaningful relationships have always developed from a fun friendship. Usually works in my favor if I'm not looking for love.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

Noboby can predict the future, but you can make an educated guess about what's going to happen based on past experiences. This is why I'm not optimistic about my future. I've been around long enough to figure some things out, and it doesn't seem to me that I'm going to meet anybody in a reasonable amount of time. 30 or 40 years old is not reasonable to me. I'm 24 now, and I think I'm on the verge of unreasonable.

i don't even think we can make an educated guess. i think most if not all of the reason you know where you're at is because you've fufilled your own prophecy. you don't expect anything good, and if you go about it pretty much believing that it's going to be bad, you're only going to focus on the bad.

and dammit if i don't blame you either. life is fucking hell and i'm tired of it. but the only way to enjoy it is to pick out the good things to keep us going :?

you've got the whole rest of your life ahead of you and it's all what you make it.

 

[Septor]

I don't know what to do anymore. The last few weeks I've had nothing but bad luck - things going wrong in my life. I've been very depressed and have found it difficult to reach out to anybody. I really need a good friend at the moment and I wish it could be a woman.

Last week I felt really down and that there was nothing to live for. Then just as I thought things couldn't get any worse I had a phone call last Friday from the father of one of my friends who I used to be very close to. It was to tell me that he'd died.

The last few days I've been trying to get over the shock. My friend had kept himself to himself for a long time. He'd always been a bit of a loner.

I never appreciate valentine's day as I don't consider I've ever had a proper girlfriend. I wasn't feeling too bad about it this year. I was going to be meeting up with a girl who is about ten years younger than me who I've been corresponding with by email since last October. I'm not in love with her but I've not met up with her before and I was looking forward to it. She keeps changing her mind about when to meet up and when to talk on the phone.

I was hoping that something might come of this as it's impossible for me to meet women and my self-esteem has been so low. A few hours ago I read her most recent text message with regards to meeting up. She said she couldn't talk last night because she was spending time with her boyfriend. She hasn't mentioned having a boyfriend before and, even without all the bad luck I've had recently, I think I would have been gutted anyway as I had stupidly believed she was single and was interested in me.

Now I don't know what to do. I feel that it's never going to happen and my life has just been a complete waste of time. How am I ever supposed to attract a woman in the state I'm in? I feel just like giving up on everything...

Chilling Echois is right you can't base your hole happiness on finding significant other.If so you are looking for significant other for the wrong reasons.You have to look at really why you want it.Im sorry you got hit with a double whammy with finding out about your friend and finding that this girl have different feeling then you do.It must be hard and you are right in your present state of mind you can't attract a woman.Just take some time to gather your self.You will fill better in time.Then work on it.

Some time men try to hard.Don't look at every women as a significant other.Make friend with them get use to being around them and you might get lucky and sometime might develop.You can't come off as be desperate.Just take it slow and steady.

In my humble opinion.