leaving Taiwan

[Vincent]

Three and a quarter years later,

returning to New Zealand, and moving in with my mother at the tender age of twenty eight. I hope this is only intially, and I don't go backwards; that I won't loose the little courage I have now.

I'm preparing myself to sink into a pit of depression, at the same time knowing that if I do this, then I will increase the likihood of it happening, yet don't want to get my hopes up. I know it has to be rational thinking, I need to find work for four months until I can start studying psych at Uni. I only hope that I can find some meaningful kind of job for this time.

Maybe it won't be as bad as I imagine, I have drawing and exercise to fall back on to stop me getting too low.

Sorry to whinge and burden with my fear and saddness, but I don't know what else to do.

The mind is a sharp tool, and mine keeps cutting me. Please, please please, let going home be the right choice and studying psych the right decision.

 

[Shonen_Yo]

Good luck! And don't get to comfortable at home. :lol:

 

[maggie]

Three and a quarter years later,

returning to New Zealand, and moving in with my mother at the tender age of twenty eight. I hope this is only intially, and I don't go backwards; that I won't loose the little courage I have now.

I'm preparing myself to sink into a pit of depression, at the same time knowing that if I do this, then I will increase the likihood of it happening, yet don't want to get my hopes up. I know it has to be rational thinking, I need to find work for four months until I can start studying psych at Uni. I only hope that I can find some meaningful kind of job for this time.

Maybe it won't be as bad as I imagine, I have drawing and exercise to fall back on to stop me getting too low.

Sorry to whinge and burden with my fear and saddness, but I don't know what else to do.

The mind is a sharp tool, and mine keeps cutting me. Please, please please, let going home be the right choice and studying psych the right decision.

hiya Vincent..i think moving back home could be whatever you want it to be ..and it's a great opportunity to study, and save up some money for the next step in your life, whatever that will be :wink:

 

[Vincent]

hashed

Thankyou both

Leaving tomorrow. Last night a knock, had a few of beers with a couple of mates last night.

Then they were doing bottle tokes and I had to have one just to fit in. Paranoia through the ceiling and I could only sit on the couch and not speak. Knocked my little confidence. Everytime I get stoned, I ask myself what the fuck for? I know the paranoia ontop of my angst makes it a nightmare. Each time, the same reason; to try and fit in, just like smoking cigerettes, I hate them, but others are toxifying their lungs, and if I dont also, I make them uncomfortable, in my head and or reality.

Again, thankyou for your support,
its going to be tough going home. Going to start up a program of St John's Wort and try and do some volunteering work. If I can cope, part time paid with that. Plenty of exercise.

Anyone else had experience returning to the Western world from Asia and the reverse culture shock and settling back in?

Cheers,
Vincent.

 

[maggie]

good luck Vincent :!: ..i think your plan of st. john's wort..exercise, and volunteering for a bit..sounds wonderful. For me, i would likely try to get on the volunteering thing right away..so i didn't have much time to sit and over think it, over worry it..and perhaps put it off. and remember, we're like a silent army, in the background, cheering for you 8)