Everyone But ME
New member
I am so angry right now I don't even know what to do. I will post an introduction later but I recently found out about social phobia. I had all the symptoms for years and just didn't know it had a name.
Anyway, my husband, 3 kids and I moved to this duplex about 4 months ago now. We have had room mates almost the whole time we have been together. When we got our own place 5 years back we had friend after friend that needed a place to stay, then my sister and her bf.
When we moved here I felt like we were going to start anew, because it was just us.. but it turns out that my landlords gf that lives above us is psycho. We judged everything on him and his place because he was nice, laid back, shy even, and he didnt tell us about her. They would party and have friends over a few times a week and have a loud fight once a month. Now its parties everyday, everynight, she screams at him and slams doors and I don't even know what, about once a week now. They interrupt 3 different ****in sleep cycles!! My kids sleep early night to early morning and get woken by them. My husband sleeps afternoon and gets woken by them and I sleep at night and get woken!! I've heard them have sex numorous times over my room. She screamed pissed off and drunk from 5am to 7am on valentines morning and totally ruined our day. I hate her so much right now I want to freak the **** out.
I can hear her voice right now over the music she's blasting at 10:51 at night and my kids have school, and he works at the school! She's a selfish bitch and I wish she would go away. I also heard they are into somethin serious, so I'm lookin for a new place to rent in the middle of snow storms and crap.
How the **** did I get us into this situation? I feel like a failure as usual, ya theres that negative self talk that comes with social anxiety. I should have known better. I'm tryin to quit smoking too and its not happenin cuz everytime I hear her voice I cringe. We share internet connection so she bothers me a lot.
One time they had to get to the electrical box which is in our utility room and I had let them in, but later I was in bed and they or he ****in picked the lock on the door between their part and ours, came in by himself. After that I really didnt feel safe and wouldnt feel safe here again.
My husband has paranoid personality disorder and this and other stresses in our lives have caused him to really make use of his meds. I don't like meds so I only take them when I have to. I'm shaking now I'm so mad, I guess I'll go take an ativan. I always think they are knocking on the door too so I have constant anxiety about that.
In case you wondered, I'm 27 and the crazies upstairs are mid to late 30's. Their friends must be real close nearby because they come over when noone is driving, the snow storms have been bad this year. Sux for me. I heard them arguing earlier and in my mind I was conspiring because it sounded like he asked her to do something and she refused in her whiney bitch voice as usual and whined some excuses why she's entitled to everything. I was thinking maybe he wanted her to turn the music down because I know he doesnt want to lose our rent money.
They started being loud earlier so I put music on just so I wouldnt have to listen to them, and it became a competition and I've had my music down for an hour and her selfishness reigns on.
I've had advice that I should tell him because he mentioned past renters moving out without notice or explanation. I'm afraid that if I do say something, which would prolly be in a text bcuz I'm most comfortable with writing, that things could get worse because if they r into something heavy then they cant be trusted or rational. Besides the snow, my biggest problem in getting the hell out of here is the town we chose specifically for our kids to have a good school, and they have nothing for rent right now that's more than 2 bedrooms.
I feel like I'm just getting closer and closer to a conclusion which is that we have to move. I also need therapy to learn some more coping skills. I know that this post has been all over the place and that's not like me. I like organization and order, but I can't get anything in my life organized with this social suffication, which makes me feel more lame. I can never find what I need when I need it which makes me irate.
I told my husband that things would be better if we rented a house with noone else in it. He said, "you always say the next place will be better and it never is". That hurt of course because when you have little hope, it gets squashed easily. I replied "that's because I didnt know much about social phobia before and now I see how much it affects me and we kept making the mistake of living with or near people, which is hard not to do when you don't have a lot of money as is."
Now I know I need a space where I can be alone and comfortable. I'm just as comfortable with my husband many times but not all the time. A common problem for paranoid personality disorder is always thinking the spouse is cheating, so when he is looking at me like that and treating me like, I can't be comfortable in my own skin.
I have realized a lot of things since I found this diagnosis, like the reason I have no patience or tolerance left is because I'M NEVER ALONE... I don't like going out alone of course because I feel like everyone is paying attention to me so for most of the past 4 months I have not had a break from people!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH Well I didn't take an ativan but I don't feel like punching a wall anymore lol, glad to have a place where people experience the same feelings. Wow my first laugh in over 100 words. Thank you socialphobiaworld.com for being here and thank you members for being here and sharing as well. Any knowledge or experience you have to share with me would be greatly appreciated.
:
: Peace out. P.S. I had to go back and make paragraphs so it wasn't just a string of letters, perfectionist tendencies.
Anyway, my husband, 3 kids and I moved to this duplex about 4 months ago now. We have had room mates almost the whole time we have been together. When we got our own place 5 years back we had friend after friend that needed a place to stay, then my sister and her bf.
When we moved here I felt like we were going to start anew, because it was just us.. but it turns out that my landlords gf that lives above us is psycho. We judged everything on him and his place because he was nice, laid back, shy even, and he didnt tell us about her. They would party and have friends over a few times a week and have a loud fight once a month. Now its parties everyday, everynight, she screams at him and slams doors and I don't even know what, about once a week now. They interrupt 3 different ****in sleep cycles!! My kids sleep early night to early morning and get woken by them. My husband sleeps afternoon and gets woken by them and I sleep at night and get woken!! I've heard them have sex numorous times over my room. She screamed pissed off and drunk from 5am to 7am on valentines morning and totally ruined our day. I hate her so much right now I want to freak the **** out.
I can hear her voice right now over the music she's blasting at 10:51 at night and my kids have school, and he works at the school! She's a selfish bitch and I wish she would go away. I also heard they are into somethin serious, so I'm lookin for a new place to rent in the middle of snow storms and crap.
How the **** did I get us into this situation? I feel like a failure as usual, ya theres that negative self talk that comes with social anxiety. I should have known better. I'm tryin to quit smoking too and its not happenin cuz everytime I hear her voice I cringe. We share internet connection so she bothers me a lot.
One time they had to get to the electrical box which is in our utility room and I had let them in, but later I was in bed and they or he ****in picked the lock on the door between their part and ours, came in by himself. After that I really didnt feel safe and wouldnt feel safe here again.
My husband has paranoid personality disorder and this and other stresses in our lives have caused him to really make use of his meds. I don't like meds so I only take them when I have to. I'm shaking now I'm so mad, I guess I'll go take an ativan. I always think they are knocking on the door too so I have constant anxiety about that.
In case you wondered, I'm 27 and the crazies upstairs are mid to late 30's. Their friends must be real close nearby because they come over when noone is driving, the snow storms have been bad this year. Sux for me. I heard them arguing earlier and in my mind I was conspiring because it sounded like he asked her to do something and she refused in her whiney bitch voice as usual and whined some excuses why she's entitled to everything. I was thinking maybe he wanted her to turn the music down because I know he doesnt want to lose our rent money.
They started being loud earlier so I put music on just so I wouldnt have to listen to them, and it became a competition and I've had my music down for an hour and her selfishness reigns on.
I've had advice that I should tell him because he mentioned past renters moving out without notice or explanation. I'm afraid that if I do say something, which would prolly be in a text bcuz I'm most comfortable with writing, that things could get worse because if they r into something heavy then they cant be trusted or rational. Besides the snow, my biggest problem in getting the hell out of here is the town we chose specifically for our kids to have a good school, and they have nothing for rent right now that's more than 2 bedrooms.
I feel like I'm just getting closer and closer to a conclusion which is that we have to move. I also need therapy to learn some more coping skills. I know that this post has been all over the place and that's not like me. I like organization and order, but I can't get anything in my life organized with this social suffication, which makes me feel more lame. I can never find what I need when I need it which makes me irate.
I told my husband that things would be better if we rented a house with noone else in it. He said, "you always say the next place will be better and it never is". That hurt of course because when you have little hope, it gets squashed easily. I replied "that's because I didnt know much about social phobia before and now I see how much it affects me and we kept making the mistake of living with or near people, which is hard not to do when you don't have a lot of money as is."
Now I know I need a space where I can be alone and comfortable. I'm just as comfortable with my husband many times but not all the time. A common problem for paranoid personality disorder is always thinking the spouse is cheating, so when he is looking at me like that and treating me like, I can't be comfortable in my own skin.
I have realized a lot of things since I found this diagnosis, like the reason I have no patience or tolerance left is because I'M NEVER ALONE... I don't like going out alone of course because I feel like everyone is paying attention to me so for most of the past 4 months I have not had a break from people!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH Well I didn't take an ativan but I don't feel like punching a wall anymore lol, glad to have a place where people experience the same feelings. Wow my first laugh in over 100 words. Thank you socialphobiaworld.com for being here and thank you members for being here and sharing as well. Any knowledge or experience you have to share with me would be greatly appreciated.
:
: Peace out. P.S. I had to go back and make paragraphs so it wasn't just a string of letters, perfectionist tendencies.