Growing up was difficult. At the age of 12 I started suffering from severe OCD, social phobia and a personality disorder. I somehow graduated high school and decided the military would be a decent option. I talked to a recruiter and told him right off the bat that I was on psych med's and in intense psycho therapy... The recruiter and his supervisor strongly encouraged me to deny all my mental health past. I never told anyone and I was accepted into the Marine Corps. I arrived at boot camp and I immediately broke down. I was singled out and abused several times a day by my drill instructors. My fellow recruits rejected me. My performance with everything was a failure due to my intense anxiety. I couldn't think. I failed every test and every training obstacle. I should have been sent home, but somehow I slipped through the cracks and graduated from boot camp. My failures, poor performance and the abuse I was constantly getting continued until I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't allow myself to be abused and possibly killed for no reason. I decided to go UA (AWOL). I was on the run for months. I eventually turned myself in immediately court martialed and sent to a military prison. My first night in jail I was made an example of. I was stripped, kicked, had trash cans thrown at me and forced to shave until I was bleeding everywhere. They thought the shaving for hours on end would "help" my acne. I faced only more punishment when I asked for mental health help, I was denied a doctor for my first 5 days in prison. And when I did see a doctor they didn't believe anything was wrong. I was finally released last week and my new therapist thought it would be a good idea to post my story on various forums. I expect a lot of hate from people. I know for a fact most people would consider me a failure.
