i've been with my partner since 2011 and can't speak to his parents.HELP

[doctor_who]

I've been with my partner since 2011. As a shy 21 year old woman I feel comfortable around him and can speak a lot to him, I am not shy and quiet around him. However its been nearly two years and I've met his parents countless times, stayed over at theres, had dinner with them, went out to the pub wit them and went shopping with him and his mum however I cannot speak to his parents, I find it difficult to hold a proper conversation with them, I am so shy and quiet..all I say is hey how are you? and that's basically it. When I stay over I hide in his room because I am scared of making conversation, I just feel awkward around them. It makes it worse when my boyfriend says that I need to make more of an effort and that his mum has told him she finds it difficult to talk to me because I am so shy. I love his parents and his family, they have accepted me into the family and his grandparents are so lovely..its funny because I can speak to his grandparents quite easily and have a laugh with them but when it comes to his parents I just can't be myself around them, a wall just comes up and I can't talk to them.. I want to get to know them better and want to make his mum realise I am good enough for her son. I want to talk to them and be able to have hour long conversations with them and just be comfortable sitting in the living room and eating dinner with them without the need to hide away...does anyone have any advice?

 

[Lydiee]

I feel the same way, I can't talk to my boyfriends parents or sister... I can talk to him but his family and better yet anyone other than my my intermediate family I can't talk to. I feel so nervous and beyond. It's horrible, I feel you.

 

[rosewood]

i had the same problem years ago with my former mom in law. i had to explain to her one day that even though i was really quiet and probably didnt seem like i liked her i actually did, that i was just a very quiet person. one day soon i would relax and open up, and at that point she would not be able to get me to shut up. i would at this point smile, and say kinda sly, "you'll be sooooory..." in a joking way, and she would laugh. after a couple years it happened, and i did wind up talking to her endlessly. she commented on what a different person i seemed, and i just said i was always this person, i just had a hard time warming up.

 

[Saraswati]

Yeah, I have trouble speaking to my boyfriend's parents also... I always think I'm going to say something stupid and embarass myself ><

You could try preparing in advance? Preparing some questions about the topics they are interested in? Your boyfriend could tell you more about them and what they like and then you could go from there. People usually get more talkative when you ask them about something they deem interesting. Also that way they would be leading the conversation and you won't have to talk so much.
Just ask them questions and with time you will begin to feel more comfortable around them

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Talk to your boyfriend and find out what kind of things are going on in his parents lives at the moment so you can prepare in advance a few questions to ask, let them do the talking. Have an escape plan prepared if you start to feel too nervous, something like "well i have an assignment due soon and im a bit behind, nice talking to you!" or just excuse yourself to the bathroom. The next time you cross paths you can just ask for updates on the things you last talked about. They are already aware that you are very shy and will appreciate the effort you make, regardless of what the context of the conversation will be

 

[doctor_who]

thank you for all your advice and i'll try the things you suggest, I feel happier that I know i'm not the only one. I hate my shyness! but i'll make more of an effort because I want to for my boyfriend and for myself, his mum is really nice and so is his dad but I don't know what makes me feel so awkward around them. Sometimes I have good and bad days where I can have a conversation with them though and on those days I feel pretty good. Today I was sitting with his mum and him and I was telling him that I wasn't feeling well and his mum was like you coming down with something? so I think she genuine likes me or else she wouldn't of asked. She does nice things like buys me socks and pants for when I stay over when I haven't asked her too and buys me little things at easter and Christmas presents and things like that..but I just don't know how to talk to her because I still get the feeling she doesn't like me. It will all come slowly but surely a day at a time!

 

[doctor_who]

I took ages to talk to my boyfriend as well like when we starting seeing each other, he made all the conversation and I just couldn't talk to him, it took about six months for me to fully engage in a proper conversation with him. One day I just started talking and since then he hasn't been able to shut me up. He will be talking to his mum and say something like she never shuts up and I feel as though his mum will be thinking i'm rude but i'm nto and i'm interested in his mum and dad. I have met a few of his uncles (due to being at his grandparents and they come over) and I've managed to speak to them but I haven't met any of his other family because he says whats the point if I don't talk but i'd like to meet them if they are going to my future family. I've met his best mate but none of his other mates, but then again he hasn't met any of my friends. I just want to be more involved in his family!, and not just be so slient when they are all together. His sister and I get along okay she has children and when we go up to see her, they call me Aunty so that means she likes me as well but then again I find it difficult to talk to her, like she could be talking to me and my partner will be like my sister was talking to you but I freeze and get all stressed and anxious but each time we see her I get better at talking mostly talking bout her children and how they are doing and how she is doing and my course!