lifesnotfair
Well-known member
I have accepted that i am going to be alone for the rest of my life.. So might as well not waste any more time trying to think that "oh..one day i will meet this special person.." HA...
i've accepted my fate
- Thread starter lifesnotfair
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lifesnotfair
Well-known member
and tell me why should i think positive?
black_mamba
Well-known member
Don't accept the idea of being alone if thats not what you want (because if you think so strongly against it, it won't happen); but trying to get the obsession of finding someone out of your head is a good idea can may be a very healthy decision. Now you can concentrate on trying to burp louder than me.
*burp*
*burp*
Pesik
Member
Re: fate
Basically, lifesnotfair... you will always have options. Online dating services, public get togeathers, work relationships, and others. If you give up you are saying you were trying your hardest and it did no good. If this is true, if you were truly trying with all your might to meet someone, then so be it. Give up. But if you believe there is somthing else you could have done then go do it. =P
Oo nice quote youve got there.rko74 said:
Basically, lifesnotfair... you will always have options. Online dating services, public get togeathers, work relationships, and others. If you give up you are saying you were trying your hardest and it did no good. If this is true, if you were truly trying with all your might to meet someone, then so be it. Give up. But if you believe there is somthing else you could have done then go do it. =P
allanboy
Well-known member
Like above post said, life´s tough. Unfair to speak the truth. Well, what are you going to do, kill yourself? Dont give it that satisfaction, try to fight back.
Try talking to people, if you cant, get yourself drunk and do it. Try differents clothes, jerk off at night, act weird.
I´m not good at helping people out but, just send it all to hell and live your life.
Try talking to people, if you cant, get yourself drunk and do it. Try differents clothes, jerk off at night, act weird.
I´m not good at helping people out but, just send it all to hell and live your life.
jenz
Well-known member
online dating services, social clubs, community stuff..I haven't done either of those yet..but I will soon time is flying by..don't know whats u might get out of it...I had a friend try online dating ...it was pretty okay she met a real nice guy..there...I don't remember which one it was but I type it here for you in a little in case you decide to try it I want u to try this one in particular because.it seems safe.
oh yes and getting drunk does help try not to get addicted but Ive found that thats the best way for me to loosen up around people. the rule for me is get a drink as soon as I get into the club/disco...so that i don't end up a wall flower.
oh yes and getting drunk does help try not to get addicted but Ive found that thats the best way for me to loosen up around people. the rule for me is get a drink as soon as I get into the club/disco...so that i don't end up a wall flower.
redlady
Well-known member
Well who wants to be like Ally McBeal anyway f#*k she annoyed me.
However having said that - to believe that it is your predetermined unchangeable plan to be alone for the rest of your life is a bit extreme. I don't want to say the usual ie, "Buck up it will happen when you least expect it" Because i personally hate that shit - but to resign yourself to such negativity can't be good either. Alright here's where you tell me to piss off - go on i can take it.
However having said that - to believe that it is your predetermined unchangeable plan to be alone for the rest of your life is a bit extreme. I don't want to say the usual ie, "Buck up it will happen when you least expect it" Because i personally hate that shit - but to resign yourself to such negativity can't be good either. Alright here's where you tell me to piss off - go on i can take it.
LittleMissScareAll
Well-known member
I've known for a long time that I'll always be alone. Nothing else ever goes my way either. Might as well be dead.
lonesomeboy
Well-known member
i feel the same way. putting in the effort to be sociable and happy is so much work. I sometimes just prefer to not talk and be alone. maybes its not even SA but my weird personality. i've given up on it all.
noone cares about, so i dont care about anyone. thats my motto from now on.
noone cares about, so i dont care about anyone. thats my motto from now on.
thugaveli
Well-known member
In order to not be alone you have to let people in and let people know who you are and what you are about
Thats the problem, its us thats the problem or should i say our anxiety is stopping our personality from blooming
I must admit you do have to go out there and show what you are instead of waiting for a miracle......although miracles do happen, it happened to me!
I find it hard to show the real me to anybody as my self esteem is forever down, its like you have to make an effort just to boil the kettle sometimes
I feel like im forever fighting to build my confidence and it drains me
I dont think there is such a phrase as ''overcoming social phobia'' its more like ''coping with social phobia'' sorry if that sounded negative but thats how i see it
Honestly i thought id be alone forever, i still am in a way i think were all lonely with our problems but your time will come im sure
Thats the problem, its us thats the problem or should i say our anxiety is stopping our personality from blooming
I must admit you do have to go out there and show what you are instead of waiting for a miracle......although miracles do happen, it happened to me!
I find it hard to show the real me to anybody as my self esteem is forever down, its like you have to make an effort just to boil the kettle sometimes
I feel like im forever fighting to build my confidence and it drains me
I dont think there is such a phrase as ''overcoming social phobia'' its more like ''coping with social phobia'' sorry if that sounded negative but thats how i see it
Honestly i thought id be alone forever, i still am in a way i think were all lonely with our problems but your time will come im sure
Broken_dude
Member
^^ totally agree. I'm not surprised so many people feel that they won't find anyone, and it's easier believing that you won't someone but you DO have to put yourself out there and it's not easy. I'm rubbish at it! I'm ok with meeting small numbers of people, slowly, but i don't put myself in the position to meet as many people as i'd like to.
I've never been in love with anyone truly, i met someone online a while ago who i thought i loved, but although you get an idea of who the person is, unless the relationship is made 'real' it can only get so far, and the whole thing fell apart.
There is work to be done, but the rewards are out of this world - i hope! Keep the faith people!
I've never been in love with anyone truly, i met someone online a while ago who i thought i loved, but although you get an idea of who the person is, unless the relationship is made 'real' it can only get so far, and the whole thing fell apart.
There is work to be done, but the rewards are out of this world - i hope! Keep the faith people!
fallenfeather
Well-known member
Hey guys, let's try to be a little bit more positive about this. The world is bunged full of opportunities and experiences waiting to happen. For some people here, just finding this forum was a stroke of good fortune. I believe that pessimism is part of our condition and worrying about everything (hence the word anxiety) is part of what makes an SA/SP sufferer. But if we could somehow see those thoughts for what they really are, maybe we could think them less and less over time and start to think more positively. I used to think I'd always be alone because I wasn't going to parties, pubs, social events etc. and never got the chance to meet anyone. But in the last 4 years I've been in 2 long term relationships and I'm still in the current one. Both of those relationships came when I least expected.
Trying to think positively has really been of great help to my SA and although it's hard at first and easy to give up, it does get easier through time. One of the best (although nerve wracking) ways to meet people and build up friendships and social confidence is to take part in outdoor (or indoor) clubs or activities such as power kiting, canoeing, sports and even joining a gym. In fact, it was joining a gym that helped me alot over the last couple of years as I was able to improve my fitness and appearance which in turn gave me more self confidence. It also gave me the chance to interact, even just in tiny little ways such as saying hello the the girl at reception as she swipes your membership card, or asking for a towel or a locker key or asking the instructor guy which is the best protein shake to use. Over time I built up aquaintences with a couple of the staff who would recognise me and say hi whenever they'd see me around.
Getting involved is something that really can help. While it can be very scary and fill you full of anticpiated anxiety, the actuall event when it comes is often much less difficult than the image your mind created in advance.
Let's try to be positive, just a tiny little itty bitty bit
Trying to think positively has really been of great help to my SA and although it's hard at first and easy to give up, it does get easier through time. One of the best (although nerve wracking) ways to meet people and build up friendships and social confidence is to take part in outdoor (or indoor) clubs or activities such as power kiting, canoeing, sports and even joining a gym. In fact, it was joining a gym that helped me alot over the last couple of years as I was able to improve my fitness and appearance which in turn gave me more self confidence. It also gave me the chance to interact, even just in tiny little ways such as saying hello the the girl at reception as she swipes your membership card, or asking for a towel or a locker key or asking the instructor guy which is the best protein shake to use. Over time I built up aquaintences with a couple of the staff who would recognise me and say hi whenever they'd see me around.
Getting involved is something that really can help. While it can be very scary and fill you full of anticpiated anxiety, the actuall event when it comes is often much less difficult than the image your mind created in advance.
Let's try to be positive, just a tiny little itty bitty bit
ColdAsIce
Well-known member
I haven't accepted this lifestyle I seem to be stuck in, I thought I did at one point but I'm never happy and so this situation I am in is wrong for me. I just don't know what else to do to change it. I know I have to change myself first but I haven't gotten to that point yet..... :roll:
lonesomeboy
Well-known member
racheH said:
easier said than done my friend
Broken_dude
Member
I know there's probably a separate thread for this comment and i'll go find it in a mo, but a book i've found helpful (and i'm not even halfway through) is one called Overcoming Social Anxiety...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos...8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/202-2523802-1272602
... it's pretty useful for helping me realise a few things about myself, habits and patterns that i can identify - really, it's all helping me get to know myself so i can be me and not anything that anyone else wants me to be.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos...8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/202-2523802-1272602
... it's pretty useful for helping me realise a few things about myself, habits and patterns that i can identify - really, it's all helping me get to know myself so i can be me and not anything that anyone else wants me to be.