It's friday and i bottled it (again x infinity)

[IcarusUnderWater2]

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[scorpion]

Sometimes seems we are doom.

Sometimes seems we have reach the end of the path.

Sometimes seems we have no where to go from now.

And then something pops in.

Like this place and the people we talk to.
I started to feel more confortable around people after daring taking the first step in here. First i was just feeling the mood, then i was doing stuff i never imagine myself doing.
So dont give up, keep trying.
The hard part is not to finally talk to that girl on the train, its to keep trying.

 

[Carol]

I completely understand how you feel!!! I get very paranoid when I'm in public, and I know what you mean about assuming that people are thinking something negative without really giving them a chance.

I'm convinced that a big part of overcoming SA is to learn not to focus on yourself. People like us who have SA spend way too much time thinking about ourselves. If you can tell yourself that you are not all that important, and then train yourself to focus on the people you want to talk with, think about how they are feeling and what you can say that will make their day better, in the process you will have success yourself. I read a great book about first impressions, which said that the secret to a great first impression is to forget about yourself and care about the person you are talking to. Most people are self-absorbed and want other people to affirm them and show that they care. So if you step in and say something that brightens their day, they will probably appreciate it and like you in return.

Easier said than done!!

 

[Angel_Of_Death]

I completely understand how you feel!!! I get very paranoid when I'm in public, and I know what you mean about assuming that people are thinking something negative without really giving them a chance.

I'm convinced that a big part of overcoming SA is to learn not to focus on yourself. People like us who have SA spend way too much time thinking about ourselves. If you can tell yourself that you are not all that important, and then train yourself to focus on the people you want to talk with, think about how they are feeling and what you can say that will make their day better, in the process you will have success yourself. I read a great book about first impressions, which said that the secret to a great first impression is to forget about yourself and care about the person you are talking to. Most people are self-absorbed and want other people to affirm them and show that they care. So if you step in and say something that brightens their day, they will probably appreciate it and like you in return.

Easier said than done!!

That's brilliant ! I agree 100%.

But like you said...easier said than done

 

[MrDooBee]

Hi IcarusUnderWater2, im in the same boat as you. Because ive got no one to go out with i am forced to go on my own.

Ive been to the same club at least 15 times on my own and have had no bad experiences apart from getting way too drunk which is another story. But im a good drunk, i dont mess with anyone and keep to myself.

What i do is walk in, then go to the toilet. Then i get a really stiff drink, a double or something, then go sit down and listen to the music and have a drink. Then when you finish you can get another drink. I mix that up with having a smoke every now and again when a crap song comes on. Your not really sitting in the same spot for a long period of time so you can blend in. When your a little bit drunk the anxiety goes away then your fine .

Go to a club where you love the music and you will be fine , because i think thats what everyone else is doing just drinking and bopping to the music.

Good luck, if you want to do it, i know you can .

 

[MrDooBee]

My pleasure mate . I still struggle with doing this, its still scary, maybe we can help each other out? Let me know how it goes .