Maggot
Member
Hey guys..
I have been reading the posts on this site for quite some time now. I never really had the nerve to post anything before and thought this would be a good start.
I'm a 23 year old Male from Michigan and have known for some time now that i have SA. For the longest time i thought i was just "different" and always had excuses to justify my behavior.
Recently i have been attending Community college (all i can afford).
I have been isolated from People for the longest time now(except my immidiet family) and trying to go back into sociaty has not been an easy thing to do.
I have always felt a greater sense of self awareness and sadness throughout my life. As a kid i had many friends but could be described as shy. Things started really going down hill at about age 15 when i started pushing away the friends i had while always giving myself excuses and justifying why i was doing it. That is also the time when i started "avoiding" situations which had the potential for bad feeling. I started developing what i call "inner reasources" such as reading, writing, playing my guitar and a great love for film. All these tools helped me cope with being alone in my room most of the time.
I still had a couple of friends but not really close ones. Any time they wanted to do anything that would involve being out in public i would make a lame excuse, until they figured out i wasnt interested or didnt want to be around them. I can safely say now, I have no friends. I could lie and say this did not make me sad but deep down i was extremely depressed.
About two years ago i reached a crisis when i faced the possibility of going to college. It had been so long since i had been in any kind of social setting(except grocery shopping) that i had completely lost the ability to communicate properly. I noticed that i had developed some symptoms such as turning red
, sweating, getting dizzy and stumbling on my words while trying to speak to people. I started getting more and more depressed and decided that i couldnt take it any longer. I needed Help.
After seeing a commercial on TV that described the same symptoms, i started researching this subject on the net. That led me to Therapy, and for a whole year i went every week until my money ran out. At the time i was on 2 different types of medication but had bad side effects and was forced to stop taking them.
During my year of therapy i made many realizations about myself and about what social anxiety is. One very important thing i learned is that i cant deal with depression and SA alone and that its ok to ask for help.
I hope i can contribute to the great community on this site. If anyone ever wants to talk please PM me.
I have been reading the posts on this site for quite some time now. I never really had the nerve to post anything before and thought this would be a good start.
I'm a 23 year old Male from Michigan and have known for some time now that i have SA. For the longest time i thought i was just "different" and always had excuses to justify my behavior.
Recently i have been attending Community college (all i can afford).
I have been isolated from People for the longest time now(except my immidiet family) and trying to go back into sociaty has not been an easy thing to do.
I have always felt a greater sense of self awareness and sadness throughout my life. As a kid i had many friends but could be described as shy. Things started really going down hill at about age 15 when i started pushing away the friends i had while always giving myself excuses and justifying why i was doing it. That is also the time when i started "avoiding" situations which had the potential for bad feeling. I started developing what i call "inner reasources" such as reading, writing, playing my guitar and a great love for film. All these tools helped me cope with being alone in my room most of the time.
I still had a couple of friends but not really close ones. Any time they wanted to do anything that would involve being out in public i would make a lame excuse, until they figured out i wasnt interested or didnt want to be around them. I can safely say now, I have no friends. I could lie and say this did not make me sad but deep down i was extremely depressed.
About two years ago i reached a crisis when i faced the possibility of going to college. It had been so long since i had been in any kind of social setting(except grocery shopping) that i had completely lost the ability to communicate properly. I noticed that i had developed some symptoms such as turning red
, sweating, getting dizzy and stumbling on my words while trying to speak to people. I started getting more and more depressed and decided that i couldnt take it any longer. I needed Help.After seeing a commercial on TV that described the same symptoms, i started researching this subject on the net. That led me to Therapy, and for a whole year i went every week until my money ran out. At the time i was on 2 different types of medication but had bad side effects and was forced to stop taking them.
During my year of therapy i made many realizations about myself and about what social anxiety is. One very important thing i learned is that i cant deal with depression and SA alone and that its ok to ask for help.
I hope i can contribute to the great community on this site. If anyone ever wants to talk please PM me.
