Its a miserable life

[me789]

I'm 21 and because of social phobia I have no life. I left school at 18 and couldnt face work or university so i started doing a home degree course. I also managed to get a part time job a frend got me at a supermarket. 3 years later, im still in the same situation and have lost all my friends from school and all the people i knew from work have left to go onto bigger and better things. All i have is my boyfriend who is also very shy and an even shyer friend who i live with. It feels like were never gonna get anywhere we all just depend on each other because we have no other friends and are too scared to go anywhere! I feel like i cant talk to anyone cuz my life is so sad and i dont go out and everyone around me is moving so fast and their lives seem so fantastic! I really hate myself for what my life has become.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

First I want to say welcome to the site. Second I want to say that you are lucky to at least know other people in your area who are shy. Most of us on all of these sites dont get to meet other shy people.

Dont worry about feeling like you are stuck on a tread mill. Most of us feel that way. If those who didint have anxiety had to go thru what we did they would be where we are too.

 

[rado31]

I'm 21 and because of social phobia I have no life. I left school at 18 and couldnt face work or university so i started doing a home degree course. I also managed to get a part time job a frend got me at a supermarket. 3 years later, im still in the same situation and have lost all my friends from school and all the people i knew from work have left to go onto bigger and better things. All i have is my boyfriend who is also very shy and an even shyer friend who i live with. It feels like were never gonna get anywhere we all just depend on each other because we have no other friends and are too scared to go anywhere! I feel like i cant talk to anyone cuz my life is so sad and i dont go out and everyone around me is moving so fast and their lives seem so fantastic! I really hate myself for what my life has become.

You are three emos.

why you 3 people dont pack your things and move to Cuba, while you still can move yourself? If i have 1 (not 2) shy people as company i will immediately transfer us to Cuba. And leave my sperm in Switzerlands national sperm bank before.

 

[Butterflies]

I read this book once about a guy who was so nervous in his job (he was a sales rep) that he couldn't make any sales - life was hopeless... I won't go into the story now but he is very successful now. You are so young and have so much ahead of you. The book was something like - How I rasied myself from failure to success in selling. Frank Bettger.

His book inspired me to start a little group in my area - I was nervous to do it but I did it - and it was successful - it helped build my self-esteem so much. I felt sick every week before we met - but slowly I looked forward to the group meetings.

The thing is - you already have a network of 3 "shy" people. I ran a free ad in the local community paper inviting the "extremely terrified" to call me if they were interested in joining a group. I got so many calls I had to start a 2nd group. We met every week - knowing each and everyone of us were terrified to be there. It was a while ago now and I didn't know anything about Social Phobia then - but it helped me so much. We helped each other so much. You could start with an activity like this and just broaden your network. See what happens after that.

You've got 3 in your group already!

 

[me789]

Hi thanks for your replies
not sure what you mean rado31!
Sometimes i wonder if i should just get away from them both as i feel like we bring each other down but im not like that. Its weird - i used to be really popular at school - i was shy around people i didnt know but around my friends i was well liked but when i left school they all did their own thing and i cant seem to make friends like them - i can only talk to people who i feel are at least as shy as me which i suppose is why i've ended up as i am! I feel sd though i have no purpose in life and so i have no confidence and i have even smaller confidence when im around the people i live with - when im with a confident person im confident too!

As for the group you mentioned im glad it worked for you but i couldn't admit it to people in my area that i felt like this

 

[Butterflies]

As for the group you mentioned im glad it worked for you but i couldn't admit it to people in my area that i felt like this

I never admitted it either (that is to my friends & family). I just told my friends and family I was starting up a group to help people to speak in public "to improve my job prospects".

Everyone thought I was a legend! They even ran a newspaper article about it - it was hard but I did it. It was so worthwhile.