Is this socially acceptable or just mad?

[IceLad]

Hello everyone,

I'm in desperate need of some advice. I've been crazy about someone for months now. We only see one another at rugby matches. She always checks to see whether I'm there, and maintains regular eye contact particularly when our team scores or performs a good move. Whenever we end up getting within metres of one another, she looks the other way. When the match ends, she takes one final look at me and leaves the stadium. I'm too scared to talk to her directly.

I know where shes works, and I've written her a letter. It basically identifies who I am, and whether she ever wants to do anything, to give me a call. Should I post the letter?

Like I said, I've been crazy about her for months. I just want to know where I stand and either take it from there, or just move on and forget about her. My greatest fear is that she'll show the letter around and treat it as a joke. I'm fully aware of the possbility of being rejected, but I'd rather know where I stand, then not know as this situation is driving me insane for months!

I haven't had much experience of this so I don't know what to do for the best.

What do you think?

 

[flippy_hair]

I agree. it sounds like she likes you, so I think you should go for it.

If the letter is long, I'd consider shortening it just so it doesn't make you sound like a stalker or something along those lines. Sometimes if you ramble about things & make it toooo personal, it makes the other person uneasy, especially if you've never talked to them before. yeah, if you've never talked to her before, make it extremely casual and straight-to-the-point as possible.

if she shows the letter around like it's something to laugh at, she wasn't worth it in the first place. just tell yourself that. sometimes the need to know is greater than anything else, even all of your fears put together. Not knowing...it can haunt your for years, especially if some other guy comes along and snags her.

well, that's my take on the situation.

 

[RedFacedBandit]

i wouldnt send a letter, for the fact that some girls well alot of girls i know would think that is weird, but this girl may be different. anyways i would try to find out from where she hangs out or try to talk to someone maybe close to her and make an appearance in her presence and take it from there. did she send you a letter? no, so do what she is doing by coming to see you, so than you go to see her or find her.

 

[verylonely]

I think you should talk to her instead,

what if somebody else reads the letter, what if she does not reply, what if she does not even read the letter, how would you know?

If you think she is interested then talk to her, from what you have written you seem like a really nice and smart guy so chances are you will get the answer you are hoping for.

 

[IceLad]

Well I posted the letter yesterday afternoon. I'm a nervous wreck awaiting a phone call, should I even get one. I should know whether she's received the letter by her reaction to me at the next rugby match (in a few days time). I kept the letter short and sweet- it identifies who I am and whether she wants to do anything, to give me a call.

I've tried endlessly walking past where she works in the hope I might 'accidently' bump into her which hasn't worked. I've seen only her twice in town. One was months ago and she was on her mobile and losing her temper to someone. I walked right up to her then I thought better of it. My heart was in my month and I felt so light headed. I got the feeling that she eventually clicked that it was me and started turning around, but it was only a feeling as I was too scared to check as I had already walked past her. The second was last Thursday, I was going back to work from lunch and we were 50 metres apart or so. I thought casually that looks a bit like her, then I realised it was her, hence panic overdrive! I took a few moments to contain myself on a bench then I started to walk after her hoping she might give me the signals to come up to talk to her, but I lost her in the crowds!

Its been driving me crazy for months. I want to know where I stand and take it from there, or move on. For all I know I could of wasted months on a crush which isn't even mutual, but at least I will know.

:roll:

 

[scatmantom]

hope she calls and i hope u are happy together

 

[beautiful]

My advice to you is to definetly send the letter.

I was in the same situation back at school. There was this guy I really liked and I was too terrified to talk to him, so I wrote him a letter. He didnt show the letter to anyone, he wrote me one back saying it was lovely of me to sen dhim a letter & that it made him feel really (whats the word) special or something.

After that, we wrote to each other a few times & then we met up and went for a walk together & talked (that was very difficult to do but I did it)

Then he told me he was interestd in someone else.

But Im proud of my self for sending that letter & gaining half a new friend. But then when he stopped writing and was with th eother girl instead, at least I knew where I stood & was glad I had taken the chance

 

[The_9th_passenger]

I'd better do this: wait & find a moment to directly talk to her.
Many years ago I was also sending letters & poetry to a girl. I never knew what she thought about it, never had an answer, I never even knew wether she did actually read it or not. Could their parents have read the letter before they handled at her? Could the letter have never arrived to her? :?:
So since then I stick to direct talk. At first iit's difficult just like everything and the most you like the girl, the worst you go at it. But now I can approach any girl with some little self-confidence as I already have faced some denys from girls I liked. (HU! I wonder...could it be just the same used on SA?? )

Anyway, I'd encourage you to talk to her. Don't worry. You don't need to directly say 'hello I'm crazy for you'. No, no... just try any kind of conversation with her . This has 3 purposes/benefits:
1- so she can see you're somehow interested in her. 2.- so she can know you a bit and therefore take a desition
...and 3.- you get to know her a bit more too and therefore re able to see if she really is what you want.

So... use your imagination, your intuition and be patient.

I'm NOT saying I'm the gigolo of all times OK? I'm not lucky with that topic actually. But I'm sure you'll get better results than I do. Believe me, you'll get that girl.

DEADLY IMPORTANT NOTE: for gods sake DON'T talk about your problems!! if you go on with her there'll be plenty of time later on for that subject :wink:

 

[nocklmnop]

you should definately send the letter if you havent already. ive been in a situation that was almost exactly the same, and it turned out pretty well.