Nougat
New member
Hey, I'm new to the forum. I'm a 21 year old American guy.
I'm wondering if I've been in therapy for a long enough time to start wondering whether I should be finding any benefit. I've been in therapy with this psychologist for about 20-21 months now with weekly visits as well as seeing a psychiatrist for nearly three years with monthly visits.
My therapist has been pushing a bit more urgently recently to begin gradual exposure desensitization and I'm still very unwilling to go through with it. The immediate reaction to deny it outright is possibly even stronger today than it was when he mentioned it during my first visit with him. What's more, about 7 months ago, after he suggested I begin composing a fear hierarchy, I stopped going without calling him or making contact with him at all. I later resumed seeing him after encouraged to do so by my parents.
I like seeing him and I think he's probably the best of the four shrinks I've seen in the last 4 years (yeah, I picked em up and dropped em a lot when I was 18-19). But I just don't know if it can go anywhere. I mean I remember a period where I sought out social interaction and confronting my fears and ended up being the worse for wear. I joined my school's mock trial team and nearly collapsed from fear the first time I had to give an opening statement. I became so uncomfortable with the coaches' pointing out my nervous tics that I just couldn't keep doing it. I repeatedly tried going to parties though I would always become overwhelmed and leave early. I tried all of those things with full knowledge that I was confronting my fears but there was no desensitization; if anything, I became more sensitive.
So now my shrink is talking about gradual desensitization and I told him flat-out today that I just couldn't do it; that I wanted to but that my mind would not conform. He seemed to be dismayed at that and I suppose I'm dismayed at this reticence as well. I know that I've gotta be able to function normally in the real world to show improvement, not just the cocoon of his office, but that improvement doesn't come.
I'm not really entertaining the thought of stopping therapy or anything like that, but I'm wondering if after being in therapy for so long, is it unreasonable to expect to see some improvement?
I feel like all this talk therapy has amounted to overwrought navel-gazing on something that must show results in the real world and apparently can for many people who follow exposure desensitization but exposure seems to be no solution at all.
I'm wondering if I've been in therapy for a long enough time to start wondering whether I should be finding any benefit. I've been in therapy with this psychologist for about 20-21 months now with weekly visits as well as seeing a psychiatrist for nearly three years with monthly visits.
My therapist has been pushing a bit more urgently recently to begin gradual exposure desensitization and I'm still very unwilling to go through with it. The immediate reaction to deny it outright is possibly even stronger today than it was when he mentioned it during my first visit with him. What's more, about 7 months ago, after he suggested I begin composing a fear hierarchy, I stopped going without calling him or making contact with him at all. I later resumed seeing him after encouraged to do so by my parents.
I like seeing him and I think he's probably the best of the four shrinks I've seen in the last 4 years (yeah, I picked em up and dropped em a lot when I was 18-19). But I just don't know if it can go anywhere. I mean I remember a period where I sought out social interaction and confronting my fears and ended up being the worse for wear. I joined my school's mock trial team and nearly collapsed from fear the first time I had to give an opening statement. I became so uncomfortable with the coaches' pointing out my nervous tics that I just couldn't keep doing it. I repeatedly tried going to parties though I would always become overwhelmed and leave early. I tried all of those things with full knowledge that I was confronting my fears but there was no desensitization; if anything, I became more sensitive.
So now my shrink is talking about gradual desensitization and I told him flat-out today that I just couldn't do it; that I wanted to but that my mind would not conform. He seemed to be dismayed at that and I suppose I'm dismayed at this reticence as well. I know that I've gotta be able to function normally in the real world to show improvement, not just the cocoon of his office, but that improvement doesn't come.
I'm not really entertaining the thought of stopping therapy or anything like that, but I'm wondering if after being in therapy for so long, is it unreasonable to expect to see some improvement?
I feel like all this talk therapy has amounted to overwrought navel-gazing on something that must show results in the real world and apparently can for many people who follow exposure desensitization but exposure seems to be no solution at all.
