indifference

[alex29]

rather than trying to open up to friends and let them know im suffering I keep everything inside. if my feelings are hurt, I dont say anything, and if I do, I tell them I dont care. if you don't care about things you arent going to be disappointed.

sometimes I'll lie to myself and say I don't care when I really do. i try to convince myself that I dont because I dont want to be hurt. if I'm indifferent to everything I'm less likely to be unhappy.

I hate this view but I think it makes sense. does anyone else feel the same?

 

[Thesephotographs]

Definately, about bottling it up.
I want to tell them my emotions and feelings but I just think I'll bore them/they want understand/don't want to land them with my crap.
A friend said if I needed to tell her anything I could but I feel like a would do so every day ... which might have an unhappy effect on herself which I wouldn't want to do, it just makes the mood alot more unhappy.
I remember telling a friend I had broke down in front of the doctors and started crying (another issue) and she didn't even ask why... It just felt like she didn't want to know/help/care which felt quite disheartening.
But then I do want to tell people or atleast one person but worry, I'm good at putting on a happy face so I don't think they'd see the seriousness in how I feel or I'd forget to mention what I truely mean. But instead of speaking to someone at the time that I need to express myself properly It builds up until I do tell one person... but this only happens every few months when what I really need to do is speak to someone at the time.
It does help when I do though, it helps me clear my mind, but even when explaining how I feel I feel very weird. I told my dad about wanting to quit school the other day and he could see I was down, I told me about feeling alone, anxious etc.. although this was the first time I had let me know pretty much anything about how I felt, I didn't explain everything because it was really hard!