I'm such a freak..

[no1]

Well.. yesterday I tried going to the local (but not so local) park to study there because I needed some fresh air and some sun. It's not too close by but it's the closest city park (not like those small recreational areas that only have like a big field, courts, etc. to play sports). So I go over there and I see quite a bit of people there.. and I try to find a spot to "hang out" where there's hardly any people and facing the sun. I felt like a dumbass searching all around thinking there must be some 'cool young regulars" over there seeing how much of an ass I am being searching all over because I've never been here (yet lived in this city for so long). I'm in college too so that sets the atmosphere. Anyway I get somewhere... and it looks like some place only a dumbass would go like me.. so I sit down.. and begin feeling very uncomfortable because theres people all around and people driving by (I hate cars the way they look these days... espcially the souped up ones and the ones that literally look MEAN). So I jumped up and loudly said "fuck this" and just went to my car and chilled there facing the sun for a little bit while reading my books. I seemed more comfortable just hanging out in my car, listening to music and facing the sun.

I was about the only loner there. Then I changed spots to under some pavilion.. I saw this one youngish looking girl alone looking like she was reading something but I didn't want to go over there or nothing to look like I'm a stranger or something. That always happens with me and women I always seem very scared to talk to women because I don't want to seem like a stranger (cuz girls always want to use the "HE TRIED TO RAPE ME!!" thing right?lol). So yeah I went to my pavilion.. realized there were people around. Felt uncomfortable agan and just said F*ck it, it's getting late already anyway, maybe next time.

Well that was my big freaking attempt to go to a park to study even though it's kind of busy. I wish there was just a place that nobody went where I could study, in front of the sun but that's very very hard to find in this city..

sorry for the long and stupid (or whatever) post.

Anyone have anything to say?

kind regards all.

 

[MrDooBee]

Hey i do that aswell, but you sussed it out for next time so if you wanna go there again you can see if your favourite spot is available? Like if your trying to find somewhere nice to hang out you gotta do some recon first

 

[Moonie]

Well, maybe this atmosphere is just not for you. That park sounds too busy anyway. It's going to be hard to find a place where you are completely alone, but there are some parks, etc. that don't have the loud traffic and stuff going on. But, you just have to search for them.

As a loner girl, I would love for a loner boy to approach me. And no I am not going to cry rape. The girl might even have the hopes of meeting someone. So, you really don't know until you try. Although, I don't think I could ever approach anyone, so I feel for you guys. yeah, I would probably be a bit nervous and shy (okay very shy at first meeting) but I'd appreciate a guy coming up to me and try and get to know me.

BTW, I really thought that you said something so greatly accurate: "I hate cars the way they look these days... espcially the souped up ones and the ones that literally look MEAN)" Are you a writer, by any chance? If not, perhaps you should give it a try! I was in total agreement and knew exactly what you were talking about.

 

[no1]

Well, maybe this atmosphere is just not for you. That park sounds too busy anyway. It's going to be hard to find a place where you are completely alone, but there are some parks, etc. that don't have the loud traffic and stuff going on. But, you just have to search for them.

As a loner girl, I would love for a loner boy to approach me. And no I am not going to cry rape. The girl might even have the hopes of meeting someone. So, you really don't know until you try. Although, I don't think I could ever approach anyone, so I feel for you guys. yeah, I would probably be a bit nervous and shy (okay very shy at first meeting) but I'd appreciate a guy coming up to me and try and get to know me.

BTW, I really thought that you said something so greatly accurate: "I hate cars the way they look these days... espcially the souped up ones and the ones that literally look MEAN)" Are you a writer, by any chance? If not, perhaps you should give it a try! I was in total agreement and knew exactly what you were talking about.

Well.. that's the closest park around here.. I dont want to go too far so I'll just try sticking with it. I was brave enough to check out the place even though I may have looked like a fool. I dont know what I'm going to do with myself. I'm going to start experimenting with taking regular walks... and just hanging out by myself outdoors. I don't know what I'll do, maybe I'll break down and cry one day as I'm walking down the street. I would feel (and look) like I'm walking in circles with no purpose. Maybe I might be motivated to talk to people so I wont feel so lonely.. who knows, but for sure my main motivation right now is for fresh air, to get some sun and who knows what else.

About the girl I didn't talk to at the park... well I always feel that way when I talk to a girl, especially if she looks pretty. I fear that people or the girl herself is thinking that I'm only talking to her because she is attractive or some other sexual thing... There were people around too and I didn't want to bother her either. Maybe next time.

I'm also not a writer. I think I am way too inexperienced (or something) to be a writer, though I wish I could write very well because the proper use of language as well as communication is so important to me. Of course sometimes I'm just way too tired or in a hurry or something to really care too much about my grammar and the proper language... but I may or may not communicate that as well.

kind regards all