I'm new, just sayin hi. oh, and i'm gonna crack this phobia.

[chris_1982]

Hi all, just like to say i've always been shy, i've always been quiet and i've had what i call physical social phobia (because it haunts over me) for about six months.

I could just say go on about my upbringing, how i've left my home, job and nearly girlfriend because of this but, NO, i'm fighting it, and the past can stay behind me. Unfortunately for this phobia, i'm gonna win.


I'm gonna be MR OPTIMISM from now on

 

[chris_1982]

Is it just me or do other social phobia's behave really nice to people, like, almost tooooo nice? I seem to be the nicest person i know. Its almost disturbing.

 

[richkid]

Yeah ,strange!

Yeah i find that, I tend to put others before myself. For me its nice to know can help others, quess I've gained better understanding of what others may be going through and wouldn't wish it on them for a second. I would say I'm fairly diplomatic, take a stance that everyone has the right to there own opinion. :roll:

 

[spacecadet]

hi

there aint nothing wrong with being nice. I've cracked the phobia almost. If I can you can beleive me

 

[chris_1982]

ok then, how did you progress to getting rid of it? I'm having a real hard time going anywhere incase i meet someone i know. I wont go to any social gatherings.

Oh and sometimes i feel like i'm gonna cry for no apparent reason.

 

[richkid]

Overcoming the fear.

Many ways,the basic one is to turn the negative cycle into a positive.
Its irrational thought that create a unrealistic view of how you interact in social situation. Take the positives, work on the negatives and do it step by step, face up to it. Don't treat it as a problem just a challenge.
Negative experience fuel negative responses its not nice,if that is true why can't it be the other way round. Things generally aren't as bad as they seem, take time to find out what actually going on instead of making assumptions.

Ironically I do psychology at Uni and its helping my understanding.
Hope it helps alittle.

 

[chris_1982]

cool, ok but as soon as i start trying to put positive thoughts into my head, i then realise why i'm doing it, i'm doing it because i have this problem kinda loops back on itself.

I find that if i do something i like doing that involves others like (no laughing) skating or biking, without conciously realising it, i'm already socialising! but i don't do it offen enough because of the weather.

 

[richkid]

hmmm

See what you mean, not really got response.
I think positive thoughts are to be use to just step back,think hang on whats actally happening and wether you give a flying fuck about it.
I don't know to be honest sounds good in theary but practice all seems to fall apart.
You into extreme sports? skating etc. Well atleast you knowyou have something to talk about when you take part in what ever you do.

 

[chris_1982]

yeah, i'm fine i guess if i'm talking to someone and i'm actually interested , the phobia dissapears because i am concentrating on what the person says and not thinking about the phobia. I suppose you are also right that the positive thoughts kinda stop you totally losing it sometimes.

Another strange thing, is I find if i'm out in bath shopping or whatever, i can start feeling a bit chlostraphobic (spelling?) and if i stare at some writing somewhere for a few seconds then continue, it gives me like this sort of feeling of not realising whats around me in that moment of time, a bit like some breathing space. anyone else get this? :?

 

[richkid]

Distraction

I find I can talk freely bout things I know about and enjoy, giving my opion usally sitting on the fence though. It like a distraction, I remember my counseller doing his thing asking me about my interests he keep asking simple litle questions and I was away.
The problem I have is taking up his role as the conversation maker, the little tricks he used are so simple aswell. ACTIVE LISTENING thats what its called, just taking what something says and rephrasesing it maybe asking a questions. I get stuck trying to think of the next question, bit of a prefectionist, i try think of questions that make it look like I'm clever or won't make me look stupid one or the other. Anyone else feel like that?
When your reading stuff not realising whats around u, think its normal. Like daydreaming, guess its good in away, nice to get away but know you can get back in the real world whenever you want. Is like an outer body experience where you fell your watching yourself that ocassionally happens to me.

 

[rivetgun]

Smooth move there, Mr. Optimism! Easier said than done if you're like me and hole up all the more when sunset gets to be at 5:00. This is the first group setting I've ever posted on in part because 2 months ago I'd have been hikin' or bikin' or playin' basketball this time of day/night. Anyone ever read The Monster in the Cave? It has an excellent mix of personal stories, worksheets, and explanatory text and is helping me back into an optimistic frame of mind. I've gotta get out now to pick up a friend at the airport, which is one of several low intensity exposure environments at my disposal here and now, which answers the question of what to do tonight to get in some gradually more socially charged experiences without even planning anything. Anyone -- please share "jump and the net will appear"-type experiences, eh?

 

[newshyguy]

hahaha

haha, richkid got it in his 2nd post.

this post is like 3 years old, surprisingly what he said about anxiety is not far from what some people in here have posted,

the answer to our questions is apparently old news.