I'm new here and have no friends.

[Dark_Loner]

Wow. What a topic title, eh?

It's true, sadly. I'm 20 years old and believe I have social anxiety. It's weird looking back to when I was 17, because it almost seems like I was a different person. I was fun, out-going, didn't say 'no' to going out with friends, went to concerts, etc.

Now, I'm a shadow of the person I used to be. I guess it started when I had a few really close friends (almost like brothers to me) lied. One friend lied to me about being diagnosed with cancer & having very little time to live. Naturally, I was crushed. Not only did it affect my school work, but it affected everything else. I felt guilty for living. After a few months, I realised something wasn't right and started to do a little digging around and eventually, he was exposed as being a liar. To this day, he never told me why he did it. Other friends had lied (although, not on that same scale) too, and so I just distanced myself from everybody and re-evaluated everything in my life. I guess while distancing & isolating myself, it became the start of my social anxiety.

I'm at a point where I'm afraid of meeting people. I've lost my ability to socialise and am constantly worrying about what I'm saying & whether it's appropriate or not. It's funny, because in the online world I'm perfectly fine. I guess it's because no one can see/hear me. I'm scared of being judged & over-analyse everything. It takes me a week to psyche myself up & go out into town. It has affected my university education. I skipped a year's worth of lectures because of my social anxiety and as a result was kicked out with a debt of £7000.

I guess this is the last option. Something has to be done. I have a job interview this Wednesday, and I'm really psyching myself up for this and am hoping it will actually help me to overcome my social anxiety. Even typing this, my heart is beating faster and palms are getting sweaty.

I've tried talking about my social anxiety to online friends, but they don't understand. I came across this forum tonight while searching for information on social anxiety, so it'll be good to talk to other people who are experiencing similar things to me.

 

[Dark_Loner]

Haha, I felt like doing something like that at the time. I was mad at myself for letting my guard slip and be fooled. Oh well.

Thanks for the welcome! I'm looking forward to this interview in a way. I hope I don't make a fool of myself and get all tongue-tied & flustered.

 

[Stu_R1]

It must have hurt being lied to by your friend, although haven't you ever lied about something to make yourself feel good? Maybe he just wanted a bit of drama in his life?

I'll bet he now thinks that saying it was a stupid mistake. Although it may have changed your perception of him, I wouldn't be so harsh as to say "you should kick his door in while he's sleeping and chainsaw him or something".

 

[Dark_Loner]

It must have hurt being lied to by your friend, although haven't you ever lied about something to make yourself feel good? Maybe he just wanted a bit of drama in his life?

I'll bet he now thinks that saying it was a stupid mistake. Although it may have changed your perception of him, I wouldn't be so harsh as to say "you should kick his door in while he's sleeping and chainsaw him or something".

No, I haven't ever lied to that extent.

And it wasn't the first time he lied. I, rather stupidly, gave him another chance after that because it was the new year and I didn't want to throw away a friendship of over 8 years. He then made up a few more elaborate stories (e.g. he was feeling depressed & suicidal and told me that he tried to commit suicide by cutting his wrist...there were no cut marks at all and his excuse for making that particular lie up was "to test the water" and see how his friends would react had he actually attempted suicide) which just proved to me that he hadn't learned his lesson and whatever issues he had to deal with, he had to deal with on his own because I was going through a few things myself.

There's only so much one person can take. If I burn my hand on the hot stove once, I wont be putting my hand on that hot stove again.