I'm having a lot of trouble getting a job.

[Plissken]

My mom is pressuring me all the time and I wish I didn't have this anxiety to get in the way. I have so much trouble applying at places. I can be in crowded locations and feel fine, but when something is expected or me, or I have to interact with people deeper than a cashier/customer kind of thing I panic. I was going to go out today and look for places to apply, but I couldn't make it out of the house because I kept panicking. I feel like I'm going to just shut down once I go into a place where I'm expected to preform around people. I bet even if I got a job interview, I'd just pussy out and not go, and make sure no one knows the employer wanted me to come.

My mom understands that I have anxiety, but I don't think she understands the degree to which it affects me. I'm tired of letting her down, but the fear of having a job outweighs that to me.

I wish there was none of this pressure to work and everyone would understand and leave me here alone. I wish I had some pills that could make this nervousness go away, but I don't have enough money to go to a doctor for it.

She's going to come home in a few hours really disappointed and I don't know what she'll do. I hate dreading talking to her and this constant nervous feeling all the time about getting a job. Everyone else in my family is getting on me about it and I hate being this huge bitch just mooching off my mom.

I wish all these feelings would go away and I could relax and feel at peace. And find work doing something I truly enjoy.

 

[steviegerrard489]

I sympathise.

I had a lot of trouble getting a job after university because I would 'crack under pressure' during interviews for the jobs that I wanted. Took 10 months to get an offer and even then it was for something I didn't want to do! Nearly 6 years on and I'm still in the same line of work!!

 

[socialhen]

well ,usually ppl wont understand ,i told my parents too ,they are like " just relax ,everybody gets nervous ".......

and i cant give u any advice cos i m still in college ,never experice a job interview kinda thing.

 

[4seasons]

Trust me, being a cashier is not as bad as you think, in fact it's perfect because they're only small interactions that last 5-10 minutes tops, with as many as 6 words. This is perfect because it will slowly get you used to interacting with people and as time goes on you'll be more comfterable with customers. The first week is a little stressful though. This is how i find and it, it does make sense. So in my opinion you should go for being a cashier and the same goes for everyone that comes to this site, its worth a try, it helped me.

 

[scarlett55]

My mom is pressuring me all the time and I wish I didn't have this anxiety to get in the way. I have so much trouble applying at places. I can be in crowded locations and feel fine, but when something is expected or me, or I have to interact with people deeper than a cashier/customer kind of thing I panic. I was going to go out today and look for places to apply, but I couldn't make it out of the house because I kept panicking. I feel like I'm going to just shut down once I go into a place where I'm expected to preform around people. I bet even if I got a job interview, I'd just pussy out and not go, and make sure no one knows the employer wanted me to come.

My mom understands that I have anxiety, but I don't think she understands the degree to which it affects me. I'm tired of letting her down, but the fear of having a job outweighs that to me.

I wish there was none of this pressure to work and everyone would understand and leave me here alone. I wish I had some pills that could make this nervousness go away, but I don't have enough money to go to a doctor for it.

She's going to come home in a few hours really disappointed and I don't know what she'll do. I hate dreading talking to her and this constant nervous feeling all the time about getting a job. Everyone else in my family is getting on me about it and I hate being this huge bitch just mooching off my mom.

I wish all these feelings would go away and I could relax and feel at peace. And find work doing something I truly enjoy.

Um...are you me? That's exactly what I'm going through right now. I wish I had a few words of advice but I don't know what to do either. I don't have enough money for therapy or drug treatments so I'm kind of stuck in this constant anxiety when it comes to applying for a job.

 

[scissorhands]

What things are you really good at? Usually in environments where you can exhibit the qualities you feel you have, it is alot easier, because you can feel like others see your value a little more. I don't know if that maks sense, but basically apply to places you would actually enjoy working at.

For me, I draw alot and feel I am quite good at it and when I am in environments where I am able to display my ability my anxiety almost disappears. It is the only time I am ever even close to being relaxed in social situations. So that is the area I am aimng to find work in. Try to find something for yourself which is "your" place.

 

[imlosttoo]

no matter the venue, work can be tough...

LOL….I can relate in a big way.

What’s funny, is that both of you could be my family on this topic I’m 38 halfway thru my master’s degree with a bachelor’s degree in social work. When it first began, I’m not sure any longer but I know that it was way before I began to work (other than part-time while I was in school) but didn’t know that I was becoming “ill’ until I was 26, though it most likely rearing its head during high-school but dismissed “normal.”

After hundreds of Google hours devoted to this, I find most all of them are not legit. If seriously think working at home is a perfect solution, for many I agree—it just might be. . Think of it from an employer’s standpoint. We are a totally untapped work source to be exploited: we need not office space or healthcare. Many of us can easily accommodate employers with no traditional phone hours …ect

Anyone else? I'd love to see this keep going

in peace,
~tony

 

[SilentType]

imlostto,

I totally agree with you on the point that working at home is the perfect solution for us social phobics.. I'm about halfway through schooling for a medical transcription job and I can't wait to get started. I'll have freedom of work hours, and no coworkers to deal with. If you think about it, this will allow me to do my "social recharging" at work {at home} and not have to deal with all the stresses of a traditional job. It will give me the ambition to get outside and do things because I feel good about myself that I'm living productively every day. All in all, work-at-home jobs are the cat's meow for people like us. Just my 2 cents.

Peace

 

[M1tCh]

My mom is pressuring me all the time and I wish I didn't have this anxiety to get in the way. I have so much trouble applying at places. I can be in crowded locations and feel fine, but when something is expected or me, or I have to interact with people deeper than a cashier/customer kind of thing I panic. I was going to go out today and look for places to apply, but I couldn't make it out of the house because I kept panicking. I feel like I'm going to just shut down once I go into a place where I'm expected to preform around people. I bet even if I got a job interview, I'd just pussy out and not go, and make sure no one knows the employer wanted me to come.

My mom understands that I have anxiety, but I don't think she understands the degree to which it affects me. I'm tired of letting her down, but the fear of having a job outweighs that to me.

I wish there was none of this pressure to work and everyone would understand and leave me here alone. I wish I had some pills that could make this nervousness go away, but I don't have enough money to go to a doctor for it.

She's going to come home in a few hours really disappointed and I don't know what she'll do. I hate dreading talking to her and this constant nervous feeling all the time about getting a job. Everyone else in my family is getting on me about it and I hate being this huge bitch just mooching off my mom.

I wish all these feelings would go away and I could relax and feel at peace. And find work doing something I truly enjoy.

I understand your pain; having gone through what you have (along with others here), and I can tell you that your situation is manageable. A good practice is exposure. No, not in the nude, although you may feel "naked". So, what I"m basically trying to say is that 'getting yourself out there' will help you find something you truly enjoy; even if it means doing things that you don't necessarily enjoy.

 

[ForeverBlue]

I know exactly how you feel about this job issue. I left my old job 4 months ago due to having had enough of it after 8 years. I sold my house and moved overseas with my mother. We had planned to live there permanently but found it wasn't for us. And deep down I think I would have struggled to get a job due to being fearful of interviews and feeling like an outsider, both due to being from another country and being social phobic.

So we returned to my home country. Luckily I had a fair bit of money from the sale of my house so i wasn't desperate to get a job. But I knew eventually I had to get a job. And I know about that constant nervousness and the pressure of having to get a job. In the end a friend talked me into applying for a job back at my old company that she was also applying for. It was in a different department but some of the duties were similar to what I had been doing. I hadn't been that stressed for ages over something as I always avoided these situations. I nearly pulled out and wasn't going to send in my resume but then they rang me and asked me to come in for an interview the next day!!!!!

That night I was as sick as a dog. My stomach was churning constantly. I was stressing and miserable and thinking why did I agree to do this. I could be having a restful nights sleep without this pressure. But then I thought if I don't, I will only have to go through it with another company where I don't know the job or anyone that works there which would be harder. So I forced myself to carry on with it (plus I was too chicken shit to ring up and cancel). And I know what grief I would have got from my mother. That night I had about 3 hours sleep. The next morning I was miserable and just wished the day was over. I rehearsed a few answers to questions that usually come up in interviews and just hoped I could answer any others. I was in state of denial and shock as I really couldn't picture myself being in an interview.

Once I got there it was so bad after all. I guess the fear of the unknown is what makes it so bad. They were pretty friendly and not so scary. I gave answers to all the questions, although at times they were very brief or I felt like I was just rambling crap. But by that point I thought stuff it. Whatever happens happens. And like my friend said, they will either like you or not like you and there is nothing you can do about it. It's not the end of the world and if you don't get the job then you never have to see those people again!!! So if you stuffed up....who cares??? Just keep on trying for other work.

Maybe start off with a job that has little responsibility or is very simple and straightforward where you don't need much training. Then once you have gained a bit of confidence and feel better about being around people, go for another job that pays more or has more responsibility.

I hope to not have to work for very long in this place if I get the job. If am going to knuckle down and try to write a novel and hopefully I won't have to worry about this stuff anymore. I can please myself what I do.

Good Luck.

 

[imlosttoo]

in case you arei nterested, I just made a yahoo.group so

one topic may not dominate the forums here. Feel free to join
~tony

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/agoraphobics_employment_hangout

 

[PhantomPod]

I def know what you're feeling. I have been looking on craigslist for possible jobs that I can get, other than a cashier type job, and for a lot of the possible jobs I just feel like I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I just recently went on an interview to be a legal assistant at a small law firm, and I actually think that I handled myself really well in the interview. I never heard back though, and a good part of me is very relieved, because I didn't think that I could handle it work wise and social wise. The job would require a good amount of talking on the phone, and that is one of my major weaknesses.

For now, I really just want a cashier type job. So I'm looking into getting a job at the bookstore Border's.

 

[SocialRetahd]

I am very good with fixing computers and so I got a job as an IT guy. Because of my lack of social life, I spent 24/7 with computers.

I am called maybe once a day and I get decent money too. The rest of the day I surf the internet.

 

[imlosttoo]

~~I am very good with fixing computers and so I got a job as an IT guy. Because of my lack of social life, I spent 24/7 with computers.

I am called maybe once a day and I get decent money too. The rest of the day I surf the Internet.~~

HI....I am in a similar situation as you but how djid you find your current position>? Also, do you think it is possible to set up a small (1-2) person company to do at home on-line tech support and if so how would you start>?

 

[MinkyBoo]

that's almost like me, but i haven't applied for a job in like 3 years, and that was for a newspaper delivery person thingy, and i got my mum to ring up, and we were going to an interview on the weekend, but i chickened out(didn't even get mum to cancel, so yea), and i haven't tried ever since.
I can't even order from subway without getting blushy and embarrased, let alone work there, coz of the fact that places like mcdonalds, you have to selec each thing to do with it, which means more questions, more minute- volume answers, with a ham and cheese sub the result of the humiliation.
omg i post loooong, sorry

 

[Hefalump]

Same as, i have had trouble getting a job, petrified of starting somewhere new, i recently got a job but that was because my parents wrote a letter to them and they wrote back giving me the job. i didn't even have an interview. when i had to go in i was absolutly dreading it, my dad had to force me in, he drove me there and pushed me through the front door. I was sweating like crazy, heart pulpitations, really shakey, and felt like i was going to throw up any second. Once inside it lasted a further 20 minutes then slowly subsided.

But the next time i was in i physically threw up in my dads car outside the workplace and in and out of the toillet for 2 hours being sick. felt like crap tried to talk to people at the work place but everytime i talked i kept stuttering and felt as though i needed to rush to the toillett again.