i'm giving up gradually...(eep)

[of_darkness]

Just as i thought my life really was improving,( i was meeting more girls, seeing people and getting out more, almost talking more), events and people just keep pushing me back down again. I really thought i could see a way out, i thought i was talking more. But somehow without me noticing, (in the same way as when i was developing my SA) i've just...gone. completely. i cant even talk to my friends who were definately my friends last time i checked. it's horrible, but the worst thing is, i can get by without caring now. I just sit whilst everyone else talks, not even attempting to want to talk to them. I can't help thinking it's gonna stick this way out of school, through uni , through my life.

Does anyone have any way out? Maybe i should actually get it diagnosed, i havent told anyone at all yet, not even my family.

 

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

im the same way as u right now but like it doesnt matter how many nice things ppl say 2 me (not many) when someone say the tiniest hurtful thing itll totally crush me and ill think about it nonstop 4 days right now the ones i cant get outta my head r:
"GOD! y r so so fucking nervous all the time!?? shit, just relax!"
"promise u wont get mad? but ur one of the whitest acting ppl ive ever met"
"u dress like a fucking prep and u look like one and act liek one"
"damn girl gain some weight ur just skin n bones"

so now ive een trying 2 change each 1 i figue if i stay high all the time i wont be nervous or quiet or mabye act as "white" shit idk tan, get lowlights, buy new "unpreppy" clothes (no $ 4 it tho) and eat my self 2 death hopeing 2 gain a pound, c ill do anything 2 please ppl wow i kinda think this went wayy of topic lol sry bout that but yah like my 3 best friends i used 2 talk on the fone w/ 4 hrs was TOTALLY comfortable w/ now i talk 2 em mabye 4 10 min every few wks and im nervous and not myself the whole time. - i wanna get better -

 

[haze]

it's horrible, but the worst thing is, i can get by without caring now.

at least you tried and cared at some point it shows you can try again dont let it keep you down. i never cared to begin with i see things i really want to do or acheive and just say "oh well wish i could be bothered doing that because it would be nice" or "ah well thats way to much effort id have to do A and B etc" I think the first step to improving your shyness SA whatever is WANTING to improve it i just dont want to enough.