I'm doing the thing I'm supposed to do and now?

[Klaus]

I went to a full of people restaurant to lunch today. I was there feeling anxiety, my heart rate was low though (because of running) and I was feeling bad, my normal state. I went to school for years and every day I was scared. Never better.

I'm doing things now, I'm really going to places.
I even have the audacity to go to a Opera next weekend. But I'm always scared. I don't care for being scared now. I'm just being scared and suffering and I'm ok about feeling bad. I'm looking to that like a physical exercise and to see how much suffering I can endure.

But when will I feel normal?
Like... I dare say...enjoy the place and be... happy and relaxed?
Never?

 

[Klaus]

Someone?

 

[Moonie]

At least you are making strives - even if you are scared. Keep putting yourself out there and hopefully you will come to relax a bit - even if it doesn't happen so quickly.

 

[Lexmark]

Thats why I have givin up fighting this shit
I did social things for years and SP was always there so I never got comftable to the point that I could enjoy freinds,work or anyhthing.
It does get a bit better so stick with it

 

[Joan6466]

Klaus- Hello! I hope I'm doing this right--this is my first forum, my first response, and I- who thought I was over shyness realize I am extremely anxious about using a computer,, and its interactive features, so it shows I am stilll situationally shy. so(gulp) here goes!
I live out in the country because of a severe breathing disability, but I used to teach classes on overcoming shyness-started the year Zimbardo published his first book on Shyness. I can truthfully say I was pathologically shy - all people all situations--and terrified of public speaking... I vowed that no one should have to suffer like that--being so fearful of one's own species--what a miserable condition! I know it can be overcome--maybe when I get better at this I'll figure out how to teach a class on line.
Anyway,you are making progress! In the beginning there are a litany of things to do to keep you attempting. In the beginning there is so much output of energy, the punishment is so high, there is very little reward. You must always honor the attempt. Even if you pulled up to the parking lot and pulled away w/out going in. You honor what you did- " good for me - I found the place this time"- I remembered my name! I stayed for 5 minutes. You do not honor success, you honor the risk you took. Your affect or mood will not change here, but you've got to go thru these motions. I'll stop now, because I've got to figure out the rest of this process. Cheers, Joan

 

[Klaus]

Thanks guys.
But why we all (the great part) went to school for years and never improved?

Because we were immature and just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible? But as adults we are in better conditions to improve?

I realize that the fact that living without my parents and going out without having to say to where I'm going is a better situation.
I remember something that happened when I used to live with my parents.
Someday I was leaving home and said that I would go play soccer at a park with my friends.
My sister and father were like:

"Woooooooooooooowwwwwwww! That's so different! What happened to you? "

I don't need to say that I didn't go. And because I wouldn't wanted them laughing at me, I've stayed hidden in a place near my home for 1 hour and returned pretending that I was there.

 

[JonnyD_]

you faced the monster, but you didn't saw that for real he was just a scared rat in the corner.