bryanhayn
Member
Hello everyone. I'm not too sure how to begin, so I'll just give a little background info on why I think I'm the way I am. I haven't been officially diagnosed with SA, but there have been recent changes in my life which lead me to believe I have SA.
Born January 1983 in Honolulu, Hawaii. Went to a good elementary school from K to 6th and had some pretty good friends there, even though I was always labeled the tall, quiet kid. I always hated getting in front of people and talking, or even asking questions in class. After 7th grade me and my family moved to Salt Lake City, Utah. I instantly became extra shy because I felt like an outsider amongst all the white Mormon folk. I was often made fun of for being different, and I got into a few fights there. For the 5 years I was in Utah I never had any close friends. I never bought any high school yearbooks, nor did I participate in the graduation ceremony (I graduated, I just chose not to walk). The November after I graduated I entered the Navy. Bootcamp was cake (most likely because I stayed quiet and did what I was told). I got stationed at Pearl Harbor, did my 4 years, and got out in October 2005. I made some friends while in the Navy, but I don't keep in contact with ANY of them now.
After I got out of the military I started smoking weed pretty much daily. It was good at first as it helped me be more social and 'carefree' I guess you could say, then it just turned into a completely unpleasant, paranoid experience everytime I did it. Right now I don't smoke, and there's no way I'd ever smoke again. Sometimes I think weed permanently made me more anxious. I dunno.
So now I'm just working as the manager of some place which I won't name, not right now anyway. How I passed the job interview I have no idea. But ya, I pretty much just work and come home, eat, sleep, repeat. Occasionally I go out with some acquaintances, but it usually results in more negative introspection than fun.
Recently I got in touch with my dead dad's side of the family. But before I get into that... My mom's been married 3 times. I came from the 2nd husband. I've only met my birth father twice when I was really young, both times I can't remember much of anything. So... about two weeks ago I met up with two of my cousins for the first time. I found out my dad was a really quiet/shy guy (dunno if he was diagnosed with SA). Also, a few of my cousins and an aunt have anxiety.
So that's it... Right now I'm waiting to see my doctor to see what she has to say about me having SA. I really hope she says something good, because I'm tired of my life being the way it is.
Born January 1983 in Honolulu, Hawaii. Went to a good elementary school from K to 6th and had some pretty good friends there, even though I was always labeled the tall, quiet kid. I always hated getting in front of people and talking, or even asking questions in class. After 7th grade me and my family moved to Salt Lake City, Utah. I instantly became extra shy because I felt like an outsider amongst all the white Mormon folk. I was often made fun of for being different, and I got into a few fights there. For the 5 years I was in Utah I never had any close friends. I never bought any high school yearbooks, nor did I participate in the graduation ceremony (I graduated, I just chose not to walk). The November after I graduated I entered the Navy. Bootcamp was cake (most likely because I stayed quiet and did what I was told). I got stationed at Pearl Harbor, did my 4 years, and got out in October 2005. I made some friends while in the Navy, but I don't keep in contact with ANY of them now.
After I got out of the military I started smoking weed pretty much daily. It was good at first as it helped me be more social and 'carefree' I guess you could say, then it just turned into a completely unpleasant, paranoid experience everytime I did it. Right now I don't smoke, and there's no way I'd ever smoke again. Sometimes I think weed permanently made me more anxious. I dunno.
So now I'm just working as the manager of some place which I won't name, not right now anyway. How I passed the job interview I have no idea. But ya, I pretty much just work and come home, eat, sleep, repeat. Occasionally I go out with some acquaintances, but it usually results in more negative introspection than fun.
Recently I got in touch with my dead dad's side of the family. But before I get into that... My mom's been married 3 times. I came from the 2nd husband. I've only met my birth father twice when I was really young, both times I can't remember much of anything. So... about two weeks ago I met up with two of my cousins for the first time. I found out my dad was a really quiet/shy guy (dunno if he was diagnosed with SA). Also, a few of my cousins and an aunt have anxiety.
So that's it... Right now I'm waiting to see my doctor to see what she has to say about me having SA. I really hope she says something good, because I'm tired of my life being the way it is.
