Illegal Drugs, Alcohol, and Sex

[Warlock]

I don't have any real friends. I have friendly aquaintances or aquaintances that used to be friends years ago but I don't have anyone I can talk to in person and hang out with. I had to break up with my girlfriend. I'm very lonely and extremely depressed.

I haven't done anything with any friends since the summer before last summer and that whole summer I only did had him over for one night.

So, why am I like this? It is not because I can't talk to people. I do not have social phobia. I can speak loud in front of large group of people to give a presentation or a speech, which is something I use to fear. I fear rejection and embrassment. The thing is people don't like my personality and they silently reject me all the time. I may have AvPD. I'm saying this because something is wrong with me wether I have it or not otherwise I would have friends.

I think my personality is very boring. I realized not too long ago that I have almost no interests and so I tried to find some but I of the things I've found and enjoyed, I can't find people who have any of those interests in common with me. I think that if I did do illegal drugs, drink alcohol, and have sex, I would have friends. I'm not saying I'm going to, but I do think that it is valid that if you do those things then people will relate to you better and you will have friends or more friends.

I would smoke pot, have sex, or drink if I knew for sure that I would get friends out of it, but you can't be sure and the people who I would probably get out of it wouldn't make great friends anyway.

 

[Layla]

hmmm, yeah. it's sad how in order to fit in we feel we need to do drugs and have sex and all that. I feel that way too. but ive also met alot of straight-edge people who dont do stuff like that, and they have ok social lives. i dont know, im stuggling with that one too. I mean, i cant drink get drunk, or do recreational drugs, so im pretty stuck. i feel so left out not being able to contribute my stories about acid trips and graffiting and stuff!
oh well! i just try to change the topic of conversation! try finding a hobby you enjoy or join a club if youre at school.

 

[fallenfeather]

Hi

Drinking, taking drugs and having sex when it's not what you truly want will not do you much good. Doing that stuff won't gain you any true friends, especially not the having sex part. I'm speaking as someone who has done all three at some point in my life and honestly I didn't gain any great friends purely from drinking or taking drugs or having sex. I know a girl who used to sleep around alot and she had ALOT of "friends", especially male ones but they turned out to only be interested in her for the sex and once she stopped sleeping around and getting drunk she ended up with only one friend. The sex, drugs and drink ended up messing her life up and she's now in therapy and on antidepressants because she is so full of regret and feels disgusted with herself for behaving the way she did. She never meant to end up that way, she started out just "having fun" and things out out of control.

The best way to make friends if you are finding it hard to do so is to join some clubs, or take up some hobbies that involve other people, like maybe a martial art or photography or even go to some SA meets where you'll meet like minded people. Even joining a gym can help you meet people some times. Or, an evening class to learn how to sow or cook or paint or anything on earth that you have an interest in. By participating in something like that you will find yourself surrounded by people you have similar interests in and so sparking up conversations will be alot easier than if you met someone randomly in the street.

I hope things pick up for you )