Plissken
I'v been in this situation many times, if this works for you then great. It has helped me picture what was going on.
I say to myself, "it's like a day dream, imaginary, mind made anxiety". Like being on a merry-go-round of 'anticipation' watching the same demon of worry terrify me as i go round and round, going nowhere.
There's no possible logical reason for me to be feeling like this, at all. I need to get off this terrifying ride but i cant. I feel frustrated that im still on it when i know i should just be relaxing, i tell myself i am stronger than this and say i really should be doing something else rather than worrying about this, i should be enjoying my life. Sound familiar?
I noticed the 'fight' i was putting up expecting things to be different not accepting that this is my life, this lack of acceptance heightens the madness. Only when i realised i didnt have to fight it, i just needed to watch it, let it be without getting involved, then my curiousity came into play. Why did i need to get on the ride in the first place? An interesting space developed whereby the worries up and vanished, it felt peaceful, i was no longer fighting it or resisting what was in my mind, i welcomed it. Then the ride ceased to scare me and make me anxious, it just seemed something different, almost like choosing a different way to walk to work. The resistance to it was like jumping on the ride and strapping myself in.
We dont need to react with such anxiety, we dont even need to get involved, but we are so used to getting on the ride in the first place arent we? We dont need to be on this ride but if we are, we realise it has to end eventually so theres no need to get too worked up.
