I want to go out but find every excuse not to!

MBinMN

Well-known member
Today was a funeral for a friend I was close with for many years. He died very suddenly. I couldn't go to the funeral :( I lied and said I had to work, I didn't have to work. There is no rational reason I can't leave other than it causes me panic.
I've become a good liar...I have the best intentions make plans but when it gets closer I can't do it. This is for even dentist, dr. appts, I have even made excuses not to meet my boss

I work from home full time.

I'm married and my husband is losing his patience with me. I feel terrible but I'm so frozen with fear. We are great here in my safe zone home! Very much in love but when it comes to leaving or socializing it is a massive effort and often times we have to leave early because I feel uncomfortable.

Hate this!!!
 
I sympathize. But it's important to realize that the more you wiggle out of these situations, the progressively worse it'll become. I used to be very similar. I didn't want to do anything ever and just stay at home. The mere thought just sitting quietly on a chair in a room filled with people waiting for hours for my ride to go back home turned my stomach.

But then my sister had a daughter, and her birthday came up a year after. Then I started to re-evaluate the priority of certain things. I didn't want her to grow up thinking her uncle didn't care at all (like people did with my birthday when I stopped being a cute little kid), so looking from someone else's perspective I got a better view on my own perspective. I was seeing it merely from my own coloured perspective.

My view of ''what do I loose by going..'' turned into ''what do others gain when I go..''. And often, in my case at least, my attendance is trivial and irrelevant at best, but sometimes (with birthdays of people important to me and business meetings/interviews) it vital that I'm there.

It's hard to do without the proper motivation, and it's easier said than done, I'm aware. I'm not judging you here, it's just a personal story I hope you'll find useful. Try to challenge yourself and at least attend the funerals and business meetings if nothing else. If you can't attend them all, merely attend the most important ones.
 
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