Anonymous
Well-known member
I have always been sort of withdrawn and shy but it seems as if the situation has gotten worse the older I get. I am now 38 y/o and I work in the banking industry.
In the banking industry it is very beneficial to be a "social butterfly". In the banking industry it is all about "who you know" and who you associate with. To be successful, you must develop of network of contacts that you can call on from time to time to build your business. You accomplish this by meeting as many people as possible and finding out as much as you can about them. Social events (ie Chamber of Commerce, Social Organizations, Clubs, etc) are the best places to "network" and expand your circle of influence.
I am finding these requirements to be harder and harder and down right impossible to meet. I am extremely uncomfortable at social events around a bunch of people that I don't know. Now once I get to know someone, I am very warm and talkative but breaking the ice with a stranger is VERY difficult for me. I find myself avoiding social situations at all costs and as a result I am finding that my career is going downhill fast. I just don't know ANYBODY!! My collegues will often say "Do you know Mr. (so and so), he is the owner of XYZ company and I met him at (insert social event). We got to talking about business and he is coming into the bank today to open a new account" and I have to say "No, I don't know Mr. (so and so)". It is really depressing to see other bankers in town that KNOW EVERYBODY only to realize that if I only knew these people too, I might be able to approach them about their business. But since I don't know anyone, I have no contacts to promote my business.
I have resorted to just sitting at my desk and waiting for business to come to me. I am not scared of meeting new people and I really want to meet new people but for some reason, I just can't get off my aZZ and do it!!! It is so frustrating and depressing.
I think I may have SA and I am reading that medication can help but I am SO against taking anti-depresant medication. (I know that is silly but I guess it means that I have to admit that there is something wrong with me). I am not currently on any medication of any type and I don't want to be either. I have never consulted with any doctor of any type about social phobias and I want to believe that I am normal.
My question is this: Should I see a doctor? Does the medication work?What should I do?
In the banking industry it is very beneficial to be a "social butterfly". In the banking industry it is all about "who you know" and who you associate with. To be successful, you must develop of network of contacts that you can call on from time to time to build your business. You accomplish this by meeting as many people as possible and finding out as much as you can about them. Social events (ie Chamber of Commerce, Social Organizations, Clubs, etc) are the best places to "network" and expand your circle of influence.
I am finding these requirements to be harder and harder and down right impossible to meet. I am extremely uncomfortable at social events around a bunch of people that I don't know. Now once I get to know someone, I am very warm and talkative but breaking the ice with a stranger is VERY difficult for me. I find myself avoiding social situations at all costs and as a result I am finding that my career is going downhill fast. I just don't know ANYBODY!! My collegues will often say "Do you know Mr. (so and so), he is the owner of XYZ company and I met him at (insert social event). We got to talking about business and he is coming into the bank today to open a new account" and I have to say "No, I don't know Mr. (so and so)". It is really depressing to see other bankers in town that KNOW EVERYBODY only to realize that if I only knew these people too, I might be able to approach them about their business. But since I don't know anyone, I have no contacts to promote my business.
I have resorted to just sitting at my desk and waiting for business to come to me. I am not scared of meeting new people and I really want to meet new people but for some reason, I just can't get off my aZZ and do it!!! It is so frustrating and depressing.
I think I may have SA and I am reading that medication can help but I am SO against taking anti-depresant medication. (I know that is silly but I guess it means that I have to admit that there is something wrong with me). I am not currently on any medication of any type and I don't want to be either. I have never consulted with any doctor of any type about social phobias and I want to believe that I am normal.
My question is this: Should I see a doctor? Does the medication work?What should I do?