I think I may have SA--Do I need to see a doctor?

Anonymous

Well-known member
I have always been sort of withdrawn and shy but it seems as if the situation has gotten worse the older I get. I am now 38 y/o and I work in the banking industry.

In the banking industry it is very beneficial to be a "social butterfly". In the banking industry it is all about "who you know" and who you associate with. To be successful, you must develop of network of contacts that you can call on from time to time to build your business. You accomplish this by meeting as many people as possible and finding out as much as you can about them. Social events (ie Chamber of Commerce, Social Organizations, Clubs, etc) are the best places to "network" and expand your circle of influence.

I am finding these requirements to be harder and harder and down right impossible to meet. I am extremely uncomfortable at social events around a bunch of people that I don't know. Now once I get to know someone, I am very warm and talkative but breaking the ice with a stranger is VERY difficult for me. I find myself avoiding social situations at all costs and as a result I am finding that my career is going downhill fast. I just don't know ANYBODY!! My collegues will often say "Do you know Mr. (so and so), he is the owner of XYZ company and I met him at (insert social event). We got to talking about business and he is coming into the bank today to open a new account" and I have to say "No, I don't know Mr. (so and so)". It is really depressing to see other bankers in town that KNOW EVERYBODY only to realize that if I only knew these people too, I might be able to approach them about their business. But since I don't know anyone, I have no contacts to promote my business.

I have resorted to just sitting at my desk and waiting for business to come to me. I am not scared of meeting new people and I really want to meet new people but for some reason, I just can't get off my aZZ and do it!!! It is so frustrating and depressing.

I think I may have SA and I am reading that medication can help but I am SO against taking anti-depresant medication. (I know that is silly but I guess it means that I have to admit that there is something wrong with me). I am not currently on any medication of any type and I don't want to be either. I have never consulted with any doctor of any type about social phobias and I want to believe that I am normal.

My question is this: Should I see a doctor? Does the medication work?What should I do?
 

aleksandra

Member
well the way i see it, you don't need medications but maybe it would be wise to go to a therapist for a few setions. I'm quit sure it won't take you much time to get over it, as your SP isn't that bad - if you have one at all. Maybe you just aren't that much extrovertive which doesnt mean that you have SP. You can check out if the symptoms of SP match yours. Oh, and even if you do have it, doesn’t mean that you’re not normal – it’s not a desease, just wrong way of thinking about yourself which can be changed. Go see a therapist, you’ll get some good tips and advices. Good luck.
 

Orlando

Well-known member
Dear Guest,
I agree with aleksandra. Atleast with my SA, I am especially anxious around people that I know. I constantly worry that I will embarrass myself in front of them (I even ruminate about it). I am certain that if you do have SA it's not bad as mine. What I suggest if you see a therapist, is that you look for therapists that are trained in Rational Emotive Therapy or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. From my own experience and from the psychological literature, these forms are therapy are the most helpful.

-Good Luck-

I hope you make a ton of money someday! :D
 

matt

Member
Same Here

Dear Guest:

I believe you should see a doctor and there are very effective treatments for social phobia - SP has become more recogonized. When I read your post all I could think was ditto. I have never been good with people nor comfortable around them either and has led to me not being able to achieve my ambitions and goals. My social phobia has been like a "glass ceiling" where I can see the other side where I want to go but just cant make it because of myself.

My experience has been that I didn't realize how much of a problem I had until I humiliated myself when having to make oral presentations for my senior year electives during college. When I made it into the work force the problem was always on the forefront of my mind and kept gnawing at me. I finally gave up and went to see a "head doctor". When I told him my problem he was not suprised at all and put me on an SSRI called Paxil. The drug allowed me to be more outgoing and interactive with people and I was actually able to give a presentation in front of a large audience and with some "big wigs" in attendence. I was so proud of myself. I also joined a speech club. However, the Paxil caused me to gain much weight and sexual dysfunction/ED and I decided to go off of it. After a while the anxiety came back and I went to see a different doctor and he put me on Paxil CR which was supposed to have less side effects but I experienced the same problems and quit again about a year ago. I am too see the doctor again at the end of this month because I am still SP and have become aware of other medications that might not have the same side effects as Paxil (such a Lexipro). So even though I personally have experienced some unwanted side effects, I can truley say that the Paxil did give me some periods where I could actually be around people and interact without much anxiety type symptoms. I am certain there is a treatment to help you and it may not require medication. As with all phobias you eventually have to face them because you have to try and get at the root of the matter. I rejoined a speech club/Toastmasters as a way of confronting my social phobia - I truly stink at it and I feel bad for the other members because they have to endure it with me but I can say that I am better than when I first started.

I am sorry that I have written so much but I hope that there is something in the typing that will be useful to you and it allows me to get things off my chest as well; this is my first posting. Also, based on my research, social phobia is a matter of brain chemistry and I recommend that you visit www.brainplace.com or Amen Clinic web site. Dr. Danial Amen also has a wonderful new book out on anxiety and depression - reading it gave me alot of relief. I plan on having an SPECT done on myself because it can help to make treatment more effective and may reveal that my social phobia has its origins in Attention Deficit Disorder. Anxiety disorders can present becuase of or with other type disorders.

Good Luck
 

neddy

Well-known member
Hello Guest,

I would also talk to your Dr about your problem, its nothing to worry about as it is very common these days and they may be able to prescribe you some medication to help you over come your fears or they might be able to refer you to someone who can help you. There is help out there, you just need to know where to go and the Dr would be a good starting point.

I am also against medication, I'm shy introverted and have had severe depression and got through without any medication at all as I was too scared to go to the doctor for help. Deep down I am very strong willed and stubborn which has worked in my favour. Maybe you could do a course on public speaking or doing something with a counsellor that will help you to improve your social skills.
 
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