I think anger can neutralize anxiety

[Livingwithoutlivin]

This summer I baby sat my aunt's kids, the whole time I was there, I was socially anxious and never made eye contact with my aunt. I was always so ackward. I hated it when she was there, I just wanted her to go to work and leave me with the kids. But I would get anxious with them too after they started disrespecting me, but that was when I was being too nice and not wanting to tell them off for it. Well, it got to the point where they pissed me off real bad, and I looked them straight in the eye and let them know in an angry voice that I was no OK with the way they were behaving and disrespecting me. When I got real pissed, I was able to look them straight in the eye with no fear, no anxiety whatsoever, and afterwards I would feel a sense of relief. It's like my sincere direct emotion was laster beam sharp. Another time when my aunt and her kids were in the drive way, my little cousin ran over a living snail. This pissed me off and I yelled out in anger. My aunt was amused and said " oh now you get mad, just because of a snail" It was a fearless, sincere, thing that I felt I had to say. I think that if somebody was to do something like hit an animal, it would piss me off so bad that I would not hesitate to retaliate for it.

 

[Reholla]

well anger, though not an emotion people want to feel or be on the other side of, is a REAL emotion. And if you are feeling it, it's good you express it. Don't let it take over though, but rather be assertive before hand so that you dont have to get angry/blow up at some one.

 

[Agitprop]

^^Exactly right. If you let anger take over in your everyday life people will see you as intimidating and stay away from you and won't listen to you. The trick (the ever difficult trick) is to get your way by being assertive without having direct conflict like you do when you're angry.

 

[whispering_screams]

This summer I baby sat my aunt's kids, the whole time I was there, I was socially anxious and never made eye contact with my aunt. I was always so ackward. I hated it when she was there, I just wanted her to go to work and leave me with the kids. But I would get anxious with them too after they started disrespecting me, but that was when I was being too nice and not wanting to tell them off for it. Well, it got to the point where they pissed me off real bad, and I looked them straight in the eye and let them know in an angry voice that I was no OK with the way they were behaving and disrespecting me. When I got real pissed, I was able to look them straight in the eye with no fear, no anxiety whatsoever, and afterwards I would feel a sense of relief. It's like my sincere direct emotion was laster beam sharp. Another time when my aunt and her kids were in the drive way, my little cousin ran over a living snail. This pissed me off and I yelled out in anger. My aunt was amused and said " oh now you get mad, just because of a snail" It was a fearless, sincere, thing that I felt I had to say. I think that if somebody was to do something like hit an animal, it would piss me off so bad that I would not hesitate to retaliate for it.

I totally agree with you and also with what Reholla said. One thing I'd like to add is that it's best to direct aggressive anger towards an adult. It is must tougher to do then with kids.