I Really want to change

[Ren Koutaisou]

Sometimes I am just tired of being shy. Don't get me wrong, it has its advantages. But throughout the years, I've missed too many chances and wasted too many thoughts on my insecurities. Also I have spent too much time in this house.

Lately, I've been taking things a lot more lightly, so perhaps it's not so bad, but I still have trouble finding interest in talking to people about things. This is what I have to work on now, talking to people, relaxing, smiling, breathing properly, and all that crap.

*cringes*

I want to be able to talk to anyone at anytime and choose my own friends. That would be bitchin'.

 

[WelshOne]

Me too.

There's still a lot I want to change about myself. I can now, more or less, talk confidently to people, although I've mostly been practicing with older, more mature people (age 30+.) I'm not sure how I'll fare at college where I'm surrounded by people my own age. Especially girls, who make me want to run and hide! I think maybe I need to disect my anxiety around girls, next time I see my psychologist, to try and develop a different outlook... because I really would like to have a relationship at some point in my life!

 

[zlench]

I want to change and fast because I am tired of being held back by SA. But I think it will take time. I don't want to get to 30 and have very little relationships in my life and in and out of work constantly.

 

[Anubis]

I'm in the process of changing too. The only advice I can give you is to not put your life on "freeze" while you're working on this magnificent goal of being more social. You should still continue to work on your career or be productive in some facet of life (whether it's blue or white-collar work).

I made the same mistake a year ago. I didn't work for 3-4 months because I felt I had to get rid of my social phobia first. While I learned a lot of stuff about myself during that down time, it was painstakingly slow progress. And I frequently felt depressed. But as soon as I got back to work, my brain got more active, and I was suddenly able to process my problems (and possible solutions) a lot better. It also improved my self-esteem which helped me change even more.

I'm still trudging through life, but I'm making progress at least.