I may have social phobia...

[Victor]

I don't know if I have social phobia or something else, but for sure I have a big problem. It only affects two areas of my life, but damn, are they important! I can't find a job and I can't find a woman. When I do something to win one thing or the other, I instantly turn into a complete idiot. I hate myself for that. Apart from that, I can easily do things that "regular" people usually shy away from, like speaking in public or playing a solo in front of a hundred people, and I'm just a beginning musician. Many people admire me for that, but I envy them for being just normal. Everybody thinks I'm assertive and outspoken, some even think I'm good with women, but I've never even kissed a girl in my whole life and I'm 27! I can talk to women like I can talk to men, no problem, but as soon as I like one, I don't know what to say and I become such a moron. That must disgust them, and who can blame them for that?
There is one girl who likes me, that's not hard to see. For anybody, asking her out would be a piece of cake, and I'm sure she would say yes if I did. And what do you think I'm doing about it? Nothing! I feel so stupid, but I can't help. I don't even like her that much, I'm not idealizing her or anything, like I did some times, and still some force is stopping me from doing the simplest of tasks: talking to her without sounding stupid. I prefer to let her think that I don't like her, rather than losing my face in front of her, for I would for sure.
Why am I assertive enough to get anything I want from people as long a it's not love or a job? I would gladly give up all my other skills for those two.

 

[CrystalBear]

Weither or not you have social phobia I dont know, but you definately do have a problem thats affected your life in a large way. Im not scared of all social things either, but all the doctors Ive seen have said I have social anxiety. Weither you have it, well.. Im not a doctor!

But as for your problem, I think love is one of the most difficult things to get for some people because they're so afraid of the pain that can come as a result. So many things can go wrong and your putting yourself in a vernerable position. And I wont lie to you, the pain of being rejected does hurt. However I think that the pain of being alone forever would hurt far more.

I think itd be good for you to talk to a doctor about your problem and perhaps a therapist too. The prospect of doing so may sound uncomfortable, but it sounds like it'd be worth it if it helped you with your anxiety.