I lost the will...

[JonnyD]

I dont know if it's the right place to post.
i've posted many positive things and this is such a contradiction, but this is how i feel and felt for long...

I don't want to make things anymore, i don't want to go outside, i don't want to see a movie or ride a bike, i don't want to leave my room to see the sky or visit my granmother, i just go to work because i need, i don't want to play a sport, or visit my grandma , or reattach my long gone friends or make new ones, i don't really want company anymore - but i'm being pushed to find one.

It's not like i'm afraid of going to places or doing things, i do become afraid when i know i will do something, or i'll need to do something, i'm afraid of talking on the phone or going to buy groceries/clothes, but this are this i'm forced to do.

but when i dont need to do these things its like i just don't want to do anything.

i've hide and avoided for so long that it's like i lost the will to do these things... i'm not really sad or depressed i'm not suicide or homicidal or anything like.

It's just that i don't know the taste of these things anymore, i don't know if it's good or bad, and i'm not wanting to prove it anymore.

It's like i lost my will for living and everything i do becomes a huge effort to me.

i'm almost sure that it's just not normal, that's why i'm posting here...
and reafirming it will make me post here!

 

[sadeyedgirl]

sounds like your'e depressed. Have you ever thought of goin for therapy?

 

[JonnyD]

sounds like your'e depressed. Have you ever thought of goin for therapy?

yes, but i don't feel depressed! i mean, if i was depressed i should be totally sad and crying on the corner! i just want to be left alone and do nothing :/

 

[alex29]

well i can kinda understand what you mean. sometimes i feel like its just easier to hide in my room and do nothing, because as soon as i go outside to do something by myself im reminded of how lonely i am. and if i do happen to be with someone else, its rare i'll feel 'connected' to this person and so i just want time to go fast so i can go and be by myself again

i want to do all these great new things with my life but i know im not going to do most of it, so im discouraged. and when i do things, rarely will i enjoy it like i hope i would

i feel hopeless that i'll ever meet anyone who can make me have fun again. usually it gets to a point where ive had enough, i just want to go home. i feel like i dont truly enjoy things anymore.

 

[biotech56]

In my honest opinion I think you are developing and avoidant personality sort of style. Not wanting to do things might also mean that you are depressed. I hope you get better.

 

[steve1]

sounds like your'e depressed. Have you ever thought of goin for therapy?

yes, but i don't feel depressed! i mean, if i was depressed i should be totally sad and crying on the corner! i just want to be left alone and do nothing :/

you are depressed my friend trust me .