I have lost "faith" in everyone (but dont take it

[no1]

I seem to always be outcast from everyone. It seems like nobody would ever give me a second glance, give me the time of the day. Nobody would ever really take some time out of there day to perhaps help me.. only when they feel like they MUST help me because it might just look bad. The women thing is a big issue for me because for some reason I believe that the point of me being male is that I am to interact with a female, as it's part of my biology, if I don't interact with any I feel my entire being is rejected. Not that I want to feel this way but I think it is purely instinctual, and it can really mess with my mind as I'm sure it does to others too. How can I trust a woman these days? I try to, so they dont just end up reflecting it onto me, my own distrust,but nothing seems to work. I always end up empty handed. I just want a friend at least, but not even the so called 'less than pretty ones' give me the time of the day. I'm not bad looking I'm just a little different and I'm supposed to be a work in progress.

But I feel doomed forever because I went too far from my path that now it has left me severely mentally physically and emotionally unhealthy and unstable such that nothing can reverse it. I feel like I live in a genocidal society. It's wicked. I feel like the only way to win in this world is to do evil. Evil is what I see. "Evil" is destruction upon my own being which denies any sort of oneness and complete existence in "existence".

 

[no1]

I dont even know where I'm going with this I'm just ranting. and feeling like there's nothing I can do matter what but just die.

 

[Eledee]

Hi No1!

It can be really difficult to relate to members of the same sex at the best of times, never mind members of the opposite sex.

I can also tell you that as a female, I also know how horrible some girls/women can be. This is often a front to 'save face' in front of their groups of immature friends.

I know life can seem really tough at times...you can feel like you are invisible and desperately want to scream out and get people to acknowledge your existence. then at other times, you realise that if you were centre of attention, you wouldnt exactly be able to cope the greatest either.

At least you can be sure of someone to chat to on this forum.

Take life in little steps...i found it useful to pretend i wanted to know the time cos id 'forgotten' my watch. little things like that help to build confidence. or asking someone in a library or bookshop to recommend a good book.

All the best.