I have a problem with speaking in front of my classmates....

[Jayman]

This is sort of wierd to me, it never used to be like this. I am a pretty shy person, but I do like to hang out with my friends, and im never nervous near anyone i know.

But when there are presentations or anything that has to be said in front of th class i cant shake off the nervousness. my heart always beats 50 mph and im scared to death that my voice will crack. I had an experience where i pretty much made a fool of myself in a presentations cause i couldnt talk straight. I sounded like a nervous wreck. whats even worse is nothing ever happened before that.

, whenever I say or read somethin longer than 30 seconds or so i cant keep my voice from sounding nervous. it basically makes presentations a horrible experience. i even know that thinking i will fail and have my voice crack will make me do even worse. but i cant shake it because it happened before. and if my heat beats fast i know it will happen. its basically me battling the fact that if i make a fool of myself people will think less of me. and in a highschool enviornment that is mostly true. not many people like shy/nervous people. and for the most part im not, just under certain cirumstances.

and since my life is pretty normal besides that, i really cant go to consueling. anyone that knows me would not think i would have any shyness or social anxiety problem, but i think i do. if i were to tell my parents, or anyone near me to figure out about it id pretty much just look even wierder to them.

is there anyway to fix this problem with only my knowledge.

 

[Olivier25]

Hi jayman

i'd be careful not to label "it" so early.
I'd be careful not to really label it at all.

My 2 cents is that this isnt necessarily social anxiety/phobia.

lots of people have fear of speaking in front of a group.
Its something lots of people, non SA people experience.

just wanted to add that.

Latly, i wont second guess your therapist but i was wondering
if you'd agree with me that no matter where people have their focus,
what really matters is where your own focus is. For example ,If your focus
is completly on what you are saying and not on h, how am i doing, am i gonna flop", would you agree that you would do well even if 2000 people
would be watching and listening to you carefully..?

maybe not. give me your opinion.


Olivier

 

[Jayman]

Hi jayman

i'd be careful not to label "it" so early.
I'd be careful not to really label it at all.

My 2 cents is that this isnt necessarily social anxiety/phobia.

lots of people have fear of speaking in front of a group.
Its something lots of people, non SA people experience.

just wanted to add that.

Latly, i wont second guess your therapist but i was wondering
if you'd agree with me that no matter where people have their focus,
what really matters is where your own focus is. For example ,If your focus
is completly on what you are saying and not on h, how am i doing, am i gonna flop", would you agree that you would do well even if 2000 people
would be watching and listening to you carefully..?

maybe not. give me your opinion.


Olivier

if it was 2000 people i dont know. I doubt i could probably go through with that without messing up even if i controlled myself to the highest limit i could. if its hard to keep cool in front of, lets says 30-40 kids. 2000 people would give me little bit of a hassle . it is in my mind, i can control it for like 30 seconds. but after that my brain keeps tellin me i cant do it.

 

[Olivier25]

well ok 2000 i may have exagerated lol

but the idea was that it wasnt so much what was happening out there.

"And if someone has a fear of speaking in front of people, is that not Social Phobia? "

Well words are words. If fear of public speaking to you is in a sense
a sort of social phobia, then yea we all have different definitions.

But personally, when i hear about social phobia it involves much more than just making a presentation/speaking in front of a group.
There are somany people with this problem.

But in that moment, i guess you can say the guy making the presentation
experience the same thing the SP person experience all the time.yea.

"but here's one trick that may help in the short term.
(Like instead of making eye contact with someone, look at the space between their eyes.) "

Good tips. I havent tried it but it might work.

"such a specific phobia"

exactly.

Search for "fear of public speaking" and other
related keywords. You may just find something
that will greatly help you.

Its something specific you experience in
a specific situation. Dont deviate from that
and keep it as simple as possible.

wish you all the best.

Olivier

 

[racheH]

Re: I have a problem with speaking in front of my classmates

its basically me battling the fact that if i make a fool of myself people will think less of me.

This line alone makes me suspect social phobia. If you had said, 'if I make a fool of myself people will think less of me and so beat me up after class' or even 'won't be my friends or talk to me and I'll be lonely for the rest of my school life' then I would say you're probably normal. But neurons firing a certain way in someone elses brain can't hurt you. If they think less of you because your voice breaks, they may treat you slightly differently I guess. Probably not enough to significantly alter your days for the worse. And the impression I get from your post is that this isn't what is going through your head. The idea of disapproval per se is distressing for you. That would be irrational, and it would be related to people, therefore it would qualify as a social phobia, if social phobia is a logical name.

is there anyway to fix this problem with only my knowledge.

It helped me to learn everything I could about phobias, how they work, and how they are treated. You can always use some cognitive therapy on yourself though. I used to tell myself that someone disapproving of me was really no different to me disapproving of someone else: it doesn't jump out of my brain magically and 'get' the person. The person isn't harmed directly by my disapproval in any way, which is why most people don't care what goes on in my brain concerning them - it's in my brain, after all. A squidgy mess of flesh and water. Kind of gross, one the most amazingly complicated objects in the known Universe, and the thing communicating the world to my soul, but of itself, harmless.

 

[Jayman]

Re: I have a problem with speaking in front of my classmates

its basically me battling the fact that if i make a fool of myself people will think less of me.

This line alone makes me suspect social phobia. If you had said, 'if I make a fool of myself people will think less of me and so beat me up after class' or even 'won't be my friends or talk to me and I'll be lonely for the rest of my school life' then I would say you're probably normal. But neurons firing a certain way in someone elses brain can't hurt you. If they think less of you because your voice breaks, they may treat you slightly differently I guess. Probably not enough to significantly alter your days for the worse. And the impression I get from your post is that this isn't what is going through your head. The idea of disapproval per se is distressing for you. That would be irrational, and it would be related to people, therefore it would qualify as a social phobia, if social phobia is a logical name.

I think i worded it wrong. i basically mean that if i sound soo stupid speaking in front of people that the shear embarassment of it will pretty much drive people further away from me than closer. for example id be the same way. if some guy doinga presentation sounded all nervous and shaky i would think it would be embarrasing to be around him if everybody remembered it.

is there anyway to fix this problem with only my knowledge.

It helped me to learn everything I could about phobias, how they work, and how they are treated. You can always use some cognitive therapy on yourself though. I used to tell myself that someone disapproving of me was really no different to me disapproving of someone else: it doesn't jump out of my brain magically and 'get' the person. The person isn't harmed directly by my disapproval in any way, which is why most people don't care what goes on in my brain concerning them - it's in my brain, after all. A squidgy mess of flesh and water. Kind of gross, one the most amazingly complicated objects in the known Universe, and the thing communicating the world to my soul, but of itself, harmless.

I posted on this site the day before i had my presentation. which was yesterday. it was pretty much my last stop because i just been searching a little bits of information on social anxiety and shyness to see if i really did have a problem. but my problem really is just the fact that my class mates alone who will see me for the rest of my senior year would remember the embarassing presentation i did.

That out of the way. Just with what you guys said. telling me that its seriosuly just in my mind, and im control of it. I actually pulled a 4 min presentation without sounded too nervous at all. i just kept telling myself im in control, as wierd as it sounds it worked. I have another quick presentation this wednesday or thursday (forget which one) so lets see how ill do then. after today tho I do have more confidence.

 

[racheH]

Re: I have a problem with speaking in front of my classmates

my problem really is just the fact that my class mates alone who will see me for the rest of my senior year would remember the embarassing presentation i did.

That's understandable. If the panic you feel is excessive for what actually might happen, it's a phobia. You'll have to figure that out for yourself. I recommend this little test: if the consequences of what you fear would cause the same level of distress as your response to it, it's probably rational to fear it. If what you fear has no consequences that you worry about at all, e.g. a frail stranger seeing you fall in the street, that would have to be called irrational (however common it may be).

omg racheH!, i am your fan! ; IT IS the most amazingly complicated object in the universe ever! that's why aliens visit sometimes, they are not here to see the world cup, my theory is that they are amazed by that squidgy mess of flesh and water (lol, it does sounds gross), oh well you should write a kind of book. gaining control over that object its the way to let the soul communicate with the world.. hmm. why does the soul choosed such place? that's the question. its poetry im telling ya!, thks for sharing.

Lol, thanks My first fanmail! I'll print it out and frame it for the mantlepiece we don't have :wink:
I don't think the soul does choose the brain it gets. That's why we should be nice to annoying people; they have to put up with themselves as well

 

[Nytro]

i wouldnt say you have SAD but to prevent you from doing so and helping yourself

talk about a topic you know very well, and practice it with family or friends before...speeches can be the the most scariest things to people (me included)
the more you do it, you can always look back on all the times you succeed and that will help you move forward

If you feel your thoughts drifting towards negativity, try to quickly distract yourself by thinking of a stop sign, and saying to your self I control my mind, and I wont get worked up over nothing.

Tell yourself rational things like, This may be hard now but ill be glad when im done, Ill feel good for not quiting....you know stuff like that but never stuff that you truly dont believe in
If you do that with anything you do I guarantee you will be less scared and more appreciative towards the things you do!