i found this thread helpful

[sumone]

after a lifetime of struggling with SA i started to really make improvements by learning zen meditation

and a strange thing that sort of helped me were some Meisner acting videos i came across. he taught his students not to overthink & just react naturally off the other person. i have no interest in acting, but i found his instructions so simple & clear, that you could easily apply them to life situations


anyway i was hoping to find further info on the connection between Meisner's technique & social anxiety, and found this thread from 5 years ago. which i found extremely helpful:


http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/how-to-cure-stage-fright-7227/

 

[sumone]

"Social Phobics suffer social anxiety because of what they do in private. They are preoccupied with images and fantasies about how they will 'perform' around others. That we daydream, imagining how we will act or what will happen. And being unconciously locked into such private mental practises, is what generates the apprehensive anxiety when we then 'go on stage to perform'.

Compare this style of 'acting' to the style that frees-up a person, that is all about responding to the moment. In other words, Mindfulness is like the method acting that replaces a preoccupation with what will happen or has happened , focusing only on being in and responding to the moment.
With, likewise, a corresponding lack of 'preparing' or 'mentally rehearsing' scenes in advance.

So, if responding to the moment is what will 'free-us up' from performance anxiety, then it follows that noticing when we are preoccupied with past memories or fantasies of the future is part of what will bring us back to the moment.

If we can notice when we are 'over-preparing' and not being spontaneous, then this means we actually are being spontaneous and returning to the moment. What I mean is that it is important to notice when we are lost in fantasy thinking, daydreaming or other preoccupations that involve acting or performing in a time or place other than the present one. "

 

[sumone]

"I had asked him (because at his site he offers free councelling) whether my need to understand (every)thing was part of my anxiety -and he basically said yes. He told me that this is a 'maladaptive coping method' and that there are many that people with anxiety have to compensate for their disorientation and lack of security etc. And he says to look out for such ways that we maintain our anxiety and that we can learn to do this with tools like Mindfullness. "

this was one of my big issues. and of course that leads to avoidance behaviors and being closed off/inactive. being afraid to take simple risks

zen helped me to see how irrational my thoughts were. after a while it becomes almost comical. what the hell was i so afraid of? and also i didn't realize how defensive i was- rejecting help from others & wanting to "fix" my SA on my own, which is silly. meditation helped me get out of that rigid mindstate