Layla
Well-known member
Hi, I just found this site the other day and was so relieved to know that there ARE other people out there that feel the way I do!
I think my social anxiety began to surface when I felt that people were constantly looking at me. I couldn't (and still can't) understand why they fixed their eyes on me, like i looked weird or they could sense that I was nervous about their glances, which in turn made ME more nervous. When I started noticing this, it got really bad and for the past few months it's been really, almost debilitatingly hard for me to hang out with my old friends because i let my self-conciousness overwhelm and control me, always being sure that I say the right thing, say something funny, and after I go home, I ruminate on everything that was said and look for flaws to make myself feel bad. I have not made any new friends in a long time (even at univeristy) and it hurts. The anxiety of seeing my old friends is too much that I just end up avoiding them so that way I can't feel any worse.
I really feel crazy and I hate feeling this way. Im so sensitive and I always overanalyze things in social situations, and to me the outcome is always "the problem is me". Like if aquaintances tell me to call them and they don't return my phone calls, (which has happened a few times recently, just as I'm trying really hard to open up and get out there!!) it crushes me and I get brought back to square one, self-pity central.
I'm trying, I really am, but it's so hard because I think it's so much easier to sit in the corner and do nothing than it is to actually get out there and face your fears head-on, becuase that takes effort and it's frightening.
I'm terrified that I'll never feel better.
I know there isn't anything fundamentally wrong with me, (ie: I'm not a monster, I'm nice & down-to-earth) which is why understanding this is so hard, and my mind is perpetually running on "worry mode".
Wow, reading these other comments, I don't feel so alone, or like such a weirdo. Thank you SO much for listening, it means a whole lot.
Please feel free to comment!
I think my social anxiety began to surface when I felt that people were constantly looking at me. I couldn't (and still can't) understand why they fixed their eyes on me, like i looked weird or they could sense that I was nervous about their glances, which in turn made ME more nervous. When I started noticing this, it got really bad and for the past few months it's been really, almost debilitatingly hard for me to hang out with my old friends because i let my self-conciousness overwhelm and control me, always being sure that I say the right thing, say something funny, and after I go home, I ruminate on everything that was said and look for flaws to make myself feel bad. I have not made any new friends in a long time (even at univeristy) and it hurts. The anxiety of seeing my old friends is too much that I just end up avoiding them so that way I can't feel any worse.
I really feel crazy and I hate feeling this way. Im so sensitive and I always overanalyze things in social situations, and to me the outcome is always "the problem is me". Like if aquaintances tell me to call them and they don't return my phone calls, (which has happened a few times recently, just as I'm trying really hard to open up and get out there!!) it crushes me and I get brought back to square one, self-pity central.
I'm trying, I really am, but it's so hard because I think it's so much easier to sit in the corner and do nothing than it is to actually get out there and face your fears head-on, becuase that takes effort and it's frightening.
I'm terrified that I'll never feel better.
I know there isn't anything fundamentally wrong with me, (ie: I'm not a monster, I'm nice & down-to-earth) which is why understanding this is so hard, and my mind is perpetually running on "worry mode".
Wow, reading these other comments, I don't feel so alone, or like such a weirdo. Thank you SO much for listening, it means a whole lot.
Please feel free to comment!
Wouldn't life be much easier if everyone else just suddenly disappeared!?