So this past week I was in a really bad place in my head, steadily getting more and more depressed over my shyness and how it has kept me so sheltered from having any social life or relationships. This absolute sweetheart coworker/friend, who I think has had me kind of figured out better than anyone for a while now, noticed that something was wrong (most people don't because I am quiet by nature, but she somehow caught on). She asked me what was up but I didn't want to talk in front of other people that day. But when we were alone the following day she asked again and I got into how antisocial I've always been, how I've never had a real relationship, etc, really everything that I've never talked to anyone about in real life. Not ever.
I am still a little terrified about having let someone through my emotional protective wall this much... right now there is nobody else that knows this much about me. But I had to talk to someone and it turned out to be such a relief. I felt accepted and not judged (and she has shared some rather similar experiences, which kind of surprised me, but I guess that's why she gets it).
She reacted like someone who understood 100% what I was saying. First thing she said was that she is a lot more antisocial herself than most people assume. She seemed to just implicitly get me, so I never felt self-conscious admitting any of this to her.
May i say its probably one of the smartest and best decisions you could have made for yourself letting her in and relieving yourself of the daily pressures and heartache..congratulations on your courage..you are now one step closer to having everything you want, letting your gaurd down and exposing yourself. I am sure this was the first major hurdle for you to overcome your chronic shyness. You'd be surprised how many women can identify (it can be obvious) and understand your monumental struggle.
It's always nice to push yourself out of your comfort zone and be rewarded with a warm response back. Hopefully you've found a new confidant in her and she in you.
The part I left out about this is that I have had a crush on this girl for quite a while. But I recently gave up trying to date her and I guess that's when I stopped worrying about always being so guarded around her. I still have a massive crush on her though :🙁:...
But fuck it. I am at the point where I don't care anymore. Let's face it, admitting to a girl that you are a shy bastard with zero experience doesn't exactly raise your attraction level, lol. Fear not, I have not deluded myself here with any of this, I fully realize that I - in all probability - dug myself into a deep "friend zone" ditch with this... but better to have a friend I can just be honest with than putting up some fake front.
But fuck it. I am at the point where I don't care anymore. Let's face it, admitting to a girl that you are a shy bastard with zero experience doesn't exactly raise your attraction level, lol.
And about the dating thing. you never know. she may surprise you.
Yeah, well, if it happens I'll certainly roll with it. She is the kind of girl you take home to your mother and marry. I wouldn't pass up a chance if it presented itself. But being a realist I just don't think the odds are anywhere near in my favor. So I've given up hope on that.
I am curious how she will act towards you now that you opened up.
Would you mind updating this thread letting us know.
I would also like to open up to someone like that. The thing is I do not know
if I can let my guard down like that.
Way to go by the way. Must have left like a load off.
Its good u spoke to her, sometimes it’s all we need to make our lives better. Transform negative thoughts with gratitude. If you keep telling yourself things like, "I am weird. I have no friends. I am alone. Everybody rejects me," then your life will form to these thoughts, and you will create a socially isolated reality for yourself. Maybe you should go out there and talk to more people like her! Well done!
That's really nice to hear that you were able to open up to her like that and that she was so understanding about it. Hopefully you guys are able to talk even more in the future!
That's a nice inspiring story, problem is that in general i've been told not to trust workmates so i'm pretty guarded about myself. I wish i did have someone to open up to though.
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