Helyna
Well-known member
I’m not really socially phobic, so I almost feel like I shouldn’t be on this site, but here I am!
I am a bit shy and anxious. I used to be very shy as a young child, starting from age three, but I got over that during fifth grade and middle school. I had some lax teachers in seventh grade and started to talk in class without raising my hand, which was really something for me, because I can’t break rules! Now, at the end of eleventh grade, I talk waaay too much in class. One of my teachers has even had to scold me for it! So I guess I’m not too shy anymore…
But, in some ways, I am. I can’t express my feelings at all, even in writing, which is my favorite pastime. I feel sick when I need to ask an adult I don’t know for help on something, like making sure the Health class I took online was recognized by the school or even turning in a note to say why I was absent last week. I often ask my best friend to come with me, “for moral support,” which is extremely embarrassing because she is much more shy than I am at other times! I also worry about calling a new friend for the first time or going to a house I’ve never been to before. All the bad things go through my head. What if it’s the wrong number/address? What if I got the wrong time to come over?
And I have some of the symptoms of social anxiety/phobia. I would do anything to be able to read someone’s mind at will. I want to know what they think about me. I’m always afraid that I don’t belong in a group and always want reassurance that the people in it consider me to be one of them. (What I would have given to have a place like this to discuss how I felt when I realized that only a third of my old lunch group wanted me around!) And I always think that everyone notices me at all times. My mom has even told me, “Everyone isn’t looking at you!” I know that’s social anxiety.
So I’m here to share my thoughts and give advice. But the original reason I came here began three years ago. I was a teen counselor at a drama camp one summer. The first group I was with was six-to-eight-year-olds. One of the girls, according to the main counselor, had a problem called Selective Mutism, which means that she is so socially anxious that she can’t speak at all in public. He had known her for two years and hadn’t heard her voice yet.
I started researching Selective Mutism online (Wikipedia is hopeless on all Social Phobia subjects!!!!). Eventually, I decided that I wanted to write a story about it (writing is my life) because it interested me and it’s so badly understood. (Yes. The Virginia Tech killer was diagnosed with SM, but that doesn’t mean that everyone with SM will be violent.) Adults think that the child is being stubborn because he/she can talk fine at home, is autistic because he/she can’t function socially, or is shy and will “grow out of it,” all incorrect diagnoses. I’ve researched this a lot and, very recently, have started looking to Social Phobia in general, which is how I ended up here.
When I saw this site, I knew I wanted to be here for my book and myself. True, everyone here is older than the eleven-year-old main character of the story I’m trying to write, but the Selective Mutism sites are aimed at the parents of kindergarten-aged children. Maybe if I balance the two age groups, I’ll know how to write about an eleven-year-old. I hope. And everyone’s so nice in the posts I’ve read!
I am seventeen years old. I mostly know about real Social Phobia in theory and most of my research has been on Selective Mutism, but I know anxiety, and I have experiences to share and plenty of ideas. Maybe I can even learn to talk better about the things that upset me. That would be a relief.
My posts are usually long (but not this long). I hope that’s okay with everyone.
Okay, I am so scared of everyone reading this. I can hardly ever let people read what I’ve written. Be nice!
I am a bit shy and anxious. I used to be very shy as a young child, starting from age three, but I got over that during fifth grade and middle school. I had some lax teachers in seventh grade and started to talk in class without raising my hand, which was really something for me, because I can’t break rules! Now, at the end of eleventh grade, I talk waaay too much in class. One of my teachers has even had to scold me for it! So I guess I’m not too shy anymore…
But, in some ways, I am. I can’t express my feelings at all, even in writing, which is my favorite pastime. I feel sick when I need to ask an adult I don’t know for help on something, like making sure the Health class I took online was recognized by the school or even turning in a note to say why I was absent last week. I often ask my best friend to come with me, “for moral support,” which is extremely embarrassing because she is much more shy than I am at other times! I also worry about calling a new friend for the first time or going to a house I’ve never been to before. All the bad things go through my head. What if it’s the wrong number/address? What if I got the wrong time to come over?
And I have some of the symptoms of social anxiety/phobia. I would do anything to be able to read someone’s mind at will. I want to know what they think about me. I’m always afraid that I don’t belong in a group and always want reassurance that the people in it consider me to be one of them. (What I would have given to have a place like this to discuss how I felt when I realized that only a third of my old lunch group wanted me around!) And I always think that everyone notices me at all times. My mom has even told me, “Everyone isn’t looking at you!” I know that’s social anxiety.
So I’m here to share my thoughts and give advice. But the original reason I came here began three years ago. I was a teen counselor at a drama camp one summer. The first group I was with was six-to-eight-year-olds. One of the girls, according to the main counselor, had a problem called Selective Mutism, which means that she is so socially anxious that she can’t speak at all in public. He had known her for two years and hadn’t heard her voice yet.
I started researching Selective Mutism online (Wikipedia is hopeless on all Social Phobia subjects!!!!). Eventually, I decided that I wanted to write a story about it (writing is my life) because it interested me and it’s so badly understood. (Yes. The Virginia Tech killer was diagnosed with SM, but that doesn’t mean that everyone with SM will be violent.) Adults think that the child is being stubborn because he/she can talk fine at home, is autistic because he/she can’t function socially, or is shy and will “grow out of it,” all incorrect diagnoses. I’ve researched this a lot and, very recently, have started looking to Social Phobia in general, which is how I ended up here.
When I saw this site, I knew I wanted to be here for my book and myself. True, everyone here is older than the eleven-year-old main character of the story I’m trying to write, but the Selective Mutism sites are aimed at the parents of kindergarten-aged children. Maybe if I balance the two age groups, I’ll know how to write about an eleven-year-old. I hope. And everyone’s so nice in the posts I’ve read!
I am seventeen years old. I mostly know about real Social Phobia in theory and most of my research has been on Selective Mutism, but I know anxiety, and I have experiences to share and plenty of ideas. Maybe I can even learn to talk better about the things that upset me. That would be a relief.
My posts are usually long (but not this long). I hope that’s okay with everyone.
Okay, I am so scared of everyone reading this. I can hardly ever let people read what I’ve written. Be nice!
