iamantisocial
Well-known member
There is this new guy at the MMA (mixed martial arts) gym. He is in top shape... since he's a former weightlifting team in high school and he's very strong for his size. He can benchpress 250 lbs while I can only benchpress 150 lbs.
During his first week, we sparred... I obviously kept being on top and beating him in every sparring due to his obvious lack of experience and knowledge of techniques. Even without the stamina he has, I was able to establish dominance.
But after a month... with the few submissions he knows, he was able to make me tap out one round after the other. He is one strong mofo. If he grabs an arm, it is really really difficult to free it and resist it. And so, I stepped up my training, particularly on the cardio part. Done alot more jogging, pushups, sprawling, situps, etc... during my free time. I trained really really HARD due to the humiliation I received.
Yesterday, I tried putting my skills to the test again. I was made to fight him and I still kept losing because he is fucking strong (or maybe I'm just weakling I dunno) Frustration was all that was on my mind and I started to lose the willpower to fight.
I was like... what the fuck Ive trained so hard but I cannot still measure up to this guy!!! I've been training for almost 10 months already and I'm getting destroyed by this new guy!!! I have a 40 pound weight advantage but I'm the weaker one. I've asked myself if he's really some prodigy student who can be a future UFC champion or if I just suck shit so bad. Everyone who saw him whup my ass was just smiling and talking among themselves... probably about how much I suck shit or something. I dunno. Fuck. It really hurt me so bad.
Yesterday I almost cried during training due to the immense amount of frustration. It is simply completely UNACCEPTABLE to be defeated by a newcomer. Now I'm just angry and I just trained even harder awhile ago before sitting down and typing this. I cannot accept that I'm the inferior one. That is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! I trained really hard awhile ago doing lots of pushups, situps, and jumping and running around. To the point that whenever I feel like my muscles are about to shut down, I JUST FUCKING PUNCH MYSELF because I cannot accept weakness.
This is just pathetic. I really feel like a fucking loser. I cannot get an average jane to fuck me... I cannot do anything right... and dont fucking tell me I'm a fucking weakling!!! My mother told me that I'm descended from a 17th century warlord in my home country. I feel like a disgrace. I feel like a fucking weakling.
:x
During his first week, we sparred... I obviously kept being on top and beating him in every sparring due to his obvious lack of experience and knowledge of techniques. Even without the stamina he has, I was able to establish dominance.
But after a month... with the few submissions he knows, he was able to make me tap out one round after the other. He is one strong mofo. If he grabs an arm, it is really really difficult to free it and resist it. And so, I stepped up my training, particularly on the cardio part. Done alot more jogging, pushups, sprawling, situps, etc... during my free time. I trained really really HARD due to the humiliation I received.
Yesterday, I tried putting my skills to the test again. I was made to fight him and I still kept losing because he is fucking strong (or maybe I'm just weakling I dunno) Frustration was all that was on my mind and I started to lose the willpower to fight.
I was like... what the fuck Ive trained so hard but I cannot still measure up to this guy!!! I've been training for almost 10 months already and I'm getting destroyed by this new guy!!! I have a 40 pound weight advantage but I'm the weaker one. I've asked myself if he's really some prodigy student who can be a future UFC champion or if I just suck shit so bad. Everyone who saw him whup my ass was just smiling and talking among themselves... probably about how much I suck shit or something. I dunno. Fuck. It really hurt me so bad.
Yesterday I almost cried during training due to the immense amount of frustration. It is simply completely UNACCEPTABLE to be defeated by a newcomer. Now I'm just angry and I just trained even harder awhile ago before sitting down and typing this. I cannot accept that I'm the inferior one. That is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! I trained really hard awhile ago doing lots of pushups, situps, and jumping and running around. To the point that whenever I feel like my muscles are about to shut down, I JUST FUCKING PUNCH MYSELF because I cannot accept weakness.
This is just pathetic. I really feel like a fucking loser. I cannot get an average jane to fuck me... I cannot do anything right... and dont fucking tell me I'm a fucking weakling!!! My mother told me that I'm descended from a 17th century warlord in my home country. I feel like a disgrace. I feel like a fucking weakling.
:x