I feel so depressed

[Systemfy]

Couple of hours ago I saw my highschool Freshman crush. We liked each other, but because of my anxiety I could never do anything about it. I saw her again and I would've talked to her but my anxiety got the best of me as she was with her friend and I was with my friend and his grandpa in a crowded room. The fear of leaving my friend's grandpa made me feel like I wouldve looked rude and inconsiderate. The crowded room made me feel nervous. And her friend being there made me not want to even look in the direction. God this makes me hate myself so much. It's so easy to look back and look at what I should've done or look into the future and see what I can do next, but once it comes down to it, my anxieties get the better of me. ****.

I really just wanted to type it out so I feel a little at ease, getting your problems out in some way is always good.

 

[Surrogate]

I know what you mean, how when someone you like enters the vicinity of your sight/peripheral vision, they automatically stick in your head like a giant target. You won't be able to concentrate on anything else while they are still there, because you're thinking about them so much... only thing I'd recommend is to force yourself into more situations like these. I think that if you are constantly in contact with her, you'll get used to it, and you'll be able to act more naturally, to be yourself.

Oh yeah, it's always good to let things out. Too many thoughts building up in your head is a bad thing. You need a place to contain them. I'd write a journal (it's what I do ) if there are constantly too many thoughts at mind.