I don't know where to start to get help... lost control

[Kalinova17]

Yesterday was my lowest time, i should be disturbed by it but i'm not. I kind of lost control. I was about to cross the street like i always do, but usally i'm ver careful and wait 2 seconds after the "walk" signal to let all the bad drivers make a speed turn so i won't get hit. But yesterday, as soon as the walk signal came up i saw a guy driving very fast like he wasn't going to stop. An impulse overcame by body and so i walked right in front of him. He stopped his brakes hard and looked sorry, But wanted him to hit me. Its strange cause thats not how i want to die but i was not in control. I've been getting worse and worse. I don't know how to start getting help. Its expensive right? I live in southern California and don't know were to go. I was forced into therapy like 4 years when i was 14 but the therapist was condescending and tried to pick a fight with me. I have no more appetite and barley sleep. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore. I'll post more about it latter but now i have to work.

 

[Digitaldreams]

Wow,it definitely sounds like you need help.

You might want to check if your local county pays for free counseling help for people who don't make over a certain salary.
Another idea is to investigate if any church in the area has a sliding scale counseling clinic. I went to one of those for awhile. You pay what you can afford and they'll help a person for free if they're desperate.

 

[bleach]

I take it you don't have health insurance?

I'm not familiar with the California medicade laws, but it's a pretty liberal state so I'm betting there is a lot of help out there for you. Try going to a clinic and seeing what they recommend, they should be able to give you information on what options you have.

 

[Fairy001]

You certainly sound depressed. I hope you are able to find some help.



Peace xxx

 

[Aramid]

I believe that you need an inspiration. Ask your self? what makes you happy? if you answered that try making steps on how to achieve that. If you cannot answer that question, you need to realize that you are born with a purpose, out of love you were born and living on Earth is a priceless thing for other people. Don't lose faith. There are lot of people less fortunate than you. Use your abilities/ talents you have because those can be very helpful to gain a salary for you to buy things. You can simply volunteer to any activities in your place to help other people but remember to help your self first.

I guess if you need a counseling service you can find one if you try hard enough. A simple good friend can help you. He can be a good listener and adviser. All people can counsel but make sure they are in a right state of mind and maybe had experienced what you are currently experiencing.

Good day!
From Emmanuel

 

[asubscriber99]

you barely sleep? I think in your case you should consider bipolar disorder, which is a cycle of depression and elevated mood, ( the one that britney spears have!javascript:emoticon(':lol:')
Laughing)

what do you feel beside what u already mentioned?

 

[IBM]

Kalinova you live in California so i presume your life is good. At least you have food, hygiene and bed to sleep.
Life hasnt to be strict. We dont have to follow rules of society and we can whatever we want to.