That may sound stupid but I always thought I feared negative judgements on my perceived flaws/imperfections after years of put downs and bullying. I believed that it is not me who thinks negatively of my flaws/imperfections it was always other people and I have spent a long time trying to handle, not be hurt by and not fear negative judgements. I realise that this has been fruitless in that I still am hurt by and fear these judgements.
When I read this forum I see people who seem to think so incredibly negatively about themselves or maybe just a part of themselves - i.e. their personality or their social ability or how they look. I realise just how negatively I think of myself too. Beliefs such as 'No woman could ever be interested in me', 'I am inadequate and inferior to every nice woman', etc.
When you are living life believing these things of yourself you are going to be self conscious and anxious of people seeing your perceived flaws/imperfections. You are going to have an inferiority complex and feel inadequate and unworthy and that will drain confidence.
Isn't the reason we never seem to progress because we are stuck in these extreme negative thoughts of ourselves? How can you ever have confidence in yourself when you think so negatively about yourself? How can you believe you are good enough compared to others when you feel so inferior and inadequate? How can you feel worthy and have confidence in the parts of yourself you think negatively of? You can't!
Any part of yourself you have confidence in and think positively about and believe is good enough, you will not fear negative judgements on.
Those parts of ourselves we currently think so negatively about you just have got to start boosting your confidence in, start thinking positively about. We should not dwell on past negative judgements, it is impossible for everyone to like us and of course there are people in life who will put you down or say negative comments about.
Surely the answer to SA is building and developing confidence and positive beliefs in the parts of us that we think so incredibly negatively about. Afterall if I believed I was gorgeous looking I would no longer believe I am ugly and be self conscious of how I look. Someone who currently thinks their personality sucks and no one will like you, well if you believed you had an awesome personality you would no longer fear people seeing your personality and you won't feel negative about your personality.
Of course its not easy to go from thinking so negatively about yourself or a part of yourself to having supreme confidence in yourself/that part of yourself, but if you can see that dwelling on negative past judgements and really seeing your qualities and thinking of past successes and realising you are good enough, your confidence will start building.
What is people's take on this?
When I read this forum I see people who seem to think so incredibly negatively about themselves or maybe just a part of themselves - i.e. their personality or their social ability or how they look. I realise just how negatively I think of myself too. Beliefs such as 'No woman could ever be interested in me', 'I am inadequate and inferior to every nice woman', etc.
When you are living life believing these things of yourself you are going to be self conscious and anxious of people seeing your perceived flaws/imperfections. You are going to have an inferiority complex and feel inadequate and unworthy and that will drain confidence.
Isn't the reason we never seem to progress because we are stuck in these extreme negative thoughts of ourselves? How can you ever have confidence in yourself when you think so negatively about yourself? How can you believe you are good enough compared to others when you feel so inferior and inadequate? How can you feel worthy and have confidence in the parts of yourself you think negatively of? You can't!
Any part of yourself you have confidence in and think positively about and believe is good enough, you will not fear negative judgements on.
Those parts of ourselves we currently think so negatively about you just have got to start boosting your confidence in, start thinking positively about. We should not dwell on past negative judgements, it is impossible for everyone to like us and of course there are people in life who will put you down or say negative comments about.
Surely the answer to SA is building and developing confidence and positive beliefs in the parts of us that we think so incredibly negatively about. Afterall if I believed I was gorgeous looking I would no longer believe I am ugly and be self conscious of how I look. Someone who currently thinks their personality sucks and no one will like you, well if you believed you had an awesome personality you would no longer fear people seeing your personality and you won't feel negative about your personality.
Of course its not easy to go from thinking so negatively about yourself or a part of yourself to having supreme confidence in yourself/that part of yourself, but if you can see that dwelling on negative past judgements and really seeing your qualities and thinking of past successes and realising you are good enough, your confidence will start building.
What is people's take on this?
