I could use some advice

[EddieHead]

Hey, long time lurker first time poster. I finally decided to register to ask some advice from you guys.

It's about this girl I work with. We are both there only for the summer, although she'll be leaving at July. We have been working at that same place two previous summers so I sort of know her already. We have, much to my amazement, always got along really well.

This will be the last time I'm working there so I feel I have to do something, otherwise I won't see her again. This is really a scary thought as I somehow managed to have a crush on her two years ago and I still care about her a lot. Also she is just about the only person, besides my brother, I can almost relax with.

My problem here is that I have virtually no experience with girls so I don't know if it's that good idea to say anything. She's just always so friendly and if she has some free time from work she often comes and talks with me. She also usually asks me to go to lunch with her and generally seems to like being with me. She is very social and gets along with everybody so I might just be imagining things. On top of everything she is so unbelievably beautiful I feel like I don't even deserve her attention, much less anything more.

So tell me what you think. Am I just too stupid to realize when someone is merely being friendly or could she actually like me? And if so, what the hell should I do?

 

[eR1k]

If you really like this girl it's time to for you to be bold and show your romantic interest in her or else she will think you like her but only as a "friend".

Tell her you feel like getting an icecream and ask her if she wants to tag along. It's great you feel relaxed when she's with you, that makes you very attractive! Be relaxed, have fun, enjoy yourself, you two are having fun don't start doubting yourself. Be relaxed focus on the conversation.

Touch her when the two of you are in conversation. It's natural to touch others when you are emphasizing a point. Touching her is probably the best way to show to her you are really atracted to her, and trust me she will know what is on your mind. That is great, that is what you want ! You want her to know your interested, there is no need to hide that !

When the two of you are really vibing look her in the eyes, and move in closer. If she doesn't back away, you know that she's into you bigtime. Take her hands in your hand and look her into the eyes. Place your head slowly against her head, enjoy the intimacy and give her just the slightest smile. And then you can go in for a soft kiss.

Don't do an half assed effort or you will dissapoint yourself. Don't try, just do it. If she doesn't have feelings for you that's too bad, but no big deal. If she rejects you it says NOTHING about you, but everything about her. You have to make it happen for yourself, I know you can !

 

[YankeeBob]

Request for Advice

My sense is that this woman is "normal".

She knows how to communicate, she has a circle of friends, and is open and warm with everyone.

You maybe , this is my guess, thinking that her feelings match your own. And of course your feelings are very intense.

This illusion ( my feelings = hers ) is common for shy men and women.

What do you think is your motive for knowing this person ?

Take care. Be well.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

say something to her, like be casual but sweet so there ent no preasure, and say how u feel about her, she will be flattered no matter if she likes u like that or not.

go for it. lifes to short.

 

[jamez]

Go for it but don't go in too deep, you might scare her away.

 

[EddieHead]

Thanks for the comments ya'll, they've been surprisingly couraging.


eR1k:

Straight to the action, eh. Although I'm not going to start touching her. I have some serious issues with touching people, even if they're my own family, so I'm afraid that won't happen. But I did like the ice cream thing. That could actually be something I could do.


YankeeBob:

You pretty much descriped her perfectly. Don't worry though I've been thinking exactly what you mentioned, so I don't have any delusions of her secretly being passionately in love but just waiting for me to make the first move. I would be happy if I could just maybe be her friend.

 

[eR1k]

It doesn't matter if she only wants to be friends, that just means you got her out of the way. You desentisized yourself to rejection a little further and you are one step closer to finding that one special person It's a win win situation either way !

 

[EddieHead]

Okay, a sort of an update I guess.

So I finally gathered enough courage and asked if she would like to have coffee with me or something (I was so nervous I can't really remember what I did say exactly). Oddly enough not only did she say yes but she seemed quite happy about it 8O
We're supposed to do that next week, so any suggestions as to what now? Although I'm happy even if nothing comes out of this, because I've already done something I never thought I could, I'd still rather not screw up.

 

[steviegerrard489]

Okay, a sort of an update I guess.

So I finally gathered enough courage and asked if she would like to have coffee with me or something (I was so nervous I can't really remember what I did say exactly). Oddly enough not only did she say yes but she seemed quite happy about it 8O
We're supposed to do that next week, so any suggestions as to what now? Although I'm happy even if nothing comes out of this, because I've already done something I never thought I could, I'd still rather not screw up.

Well done mate.

In terms of gauging any romantic interest you need to look for signs and signals. For example, when she sees you does she nervously adjust her clothing or preen her hair? That's the sort of thing to look for.

Also, try to see how she reacts to other people and whether it differs compared to you.

You did the right thing asking her out for a coffee. Never say the cringeworthy words: Will you go out with me?.....and never confess your 'love'. It could freak her out even if she's interested.

The touching thing is a good idea but not at work. Try to work your way into a position where you could give her a playful hug (with one arm).

Unfortunately for us guys, the attractive girls generally wait for the guys to take the inititaive because they can afford to sit back and let guys show their interest.