I can't take it anymore!!!!!(why me?)

[depressed_diva_93]

I'm currently 14(nearly) and have been constantly bullied for nearly 2 years. It all started when I went to secondary school. The first month or so were ok, I had my best friend, made a couple of new friends everything was going fine, until a group of boys in my year group started to pick on me because I had braces and talked with a lisp, they made fun of my voice, shouted abuse at me whenever I tried to respond and threw food and hard sweets at me(which left me a painful lump on my head). I'm generally a shy person and don't talk much, but my best friends(or former best friends) are really confident, outgoing and aren't afraid to speak their mind, so they started to become popular and make other friends who automatically didn't like me and thought I was a shy wierdo and gradually more and more people started to judge me as a freak and dislike me. My parents are from a different country so my name isn't a common one, and that has been one of the major targets when people pick on me. I am SICK of people walking past me, or sitting next to me, saying my name in a wierd/funny voice and talking to me as if I was a 5 year old!!!!!!!! When I had an account on MSN, people from school used to post abuse too(cyberbullying). People have also called me fat and ugly because i have large hips and thighs. I started to self harm myself last year, slitting my wrists with sewing scissors and deliberately sticking a toothbrush down my throat and throwing up out of depression and not wanting to go to school. I even have problems with some older people, saying they knew me from when I was like 7 years old at primary school and they make fun of me(as usual). When I accidentally left my school planner in a classroom, I went to get it back at reception and found it broken, ruined and graffitied with the most threatening insults, such as "dirty fat slut, go back to your own country" By the start of this school year, the bullying had started again(even though my head of year last year had spoken to some of the pupils who were bothering me) and has gotten worse throughout the year. I now have no friends(the only ones I had have now become popular and ditched me) am still getting lots of bullying and abuse and one of my former friends has now started to turn particularly nasty. My parents have spoken to my current head of year, tutor and as many teachers as possible, but nothings changed and the bullies still continue. in short: almost the whole year group and possibly many other students hate my guts and think I'm just a quiet geek who likes classical music and studying and I'm strongly hurt by this because I'm NOT any of those things, just because i'm good at schoolwork doesn't make me a geek, classical music annoys the crap out of me and I can be loud and talkative when I want to, but if i try that in school people just roll their eyes at me, look at me wierdly or whisper abuse. I tried to be friends with these girls who I thought were nice to me, but every time I try to sit with them, talk or hand around with them, they run away as if they think I'm stalking them when i'm just trying to be friends. So at break or luchtime, I just wander round the school alone sick, and sad. I REALLY BADLY wanna get homeschooled but my parents won't let me . Is there a way I could easily get taught at home and still do all my G.C.S.E's in future because I am sick of getting uncontrollably abused at school(not just one person but many people targeting me) and I don't want to ruin my education, so I really want to find out if it's possible to be taught at home by someone, and if possible, what's the best option.

Female, 14, U.K

 

[Ambiance]

Hey Diva,

Your story touched me and reminded me much of my own childhood. I'm happy to hear your parents have tried to protect you by talking with the school - they sound like good people.

Keep sharing your story online, and read others, t will help alleviate the grief.

Take care and God bless,

Ambiance

 

[alter_ego]

You know, Diva, you probably won't believe this now but pretty soon those bullies will grow up and the bullying will stop. Twelve to fifteen is probably the worst age for being bullied - it's when people are getting to know who they are and they'll follow the crowd rather than seem the odd one out who doesn't go along with what the others are doing.

I was bullied when I was 14 - verbally and not a lot really - but it still hurt. Gradually tho it was like everyone began to grow up and we got on quite well later.

Hope things work out for you soon.

 

[**removed**]

Is there any way you could move to another school?

I would see the head again, maybe a school councellor or police officer even (if your school has them) and discuss all this crap out in the open. I get the feeling your head of year didn't really push the point with them so they think they're going to get away with it. These people need to be taught a lesson...

 

[Danfalc]

Hey diva im so so sorry to hear what your going through as if it aint enough to struggle with being shy/anxious.. yove got these idots bullying you.Im sorry to here ya self harming 2... im 22 and have been self harming for over 10 years now tho luckily ive managed to get a lid on it recently.Anyway to the point you asked about the possability of homeschooling i think right? I dont know the details but i do know it can be done and i dont think you even have to pay for it if your anxiety/depression is that severe you cant handle normal school.Anyway like i said i dont know the details but my girlfriend has home tutoring so if you think thats the way forward for you i can ask her about it or even give you her msn if she doesnt mind as you might find alot in common.Anyway if you do wanna contact me about this i check the forums alot so ya could reply to this thread if not feel free to leave me a pm or contact me at "[email protected]"

Danny

 

[Tryin]

Hullo Diva,

I am 17 and've been through more or less the same when I was about your age. There are surprisingly many people who can relate to this, so (although it isn't much of an uplift) YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And things will get better, really they will. For me it was activity that helped me - I was lucky enough to take part in some charity and education programmes, where I got to know other people (all of them are really sweet, and although I still have so many problems connecting with them, it meant the world to me) and my self-esteem got a huge boost. I also started jogging recently, and playing guitar, I read a lot and write some, and eat healthy and listen to some great music, and, well, things are very much looking up. I still have so many downs and bad days, lonely days, i-am-total-rubbish days, and there are still people who would laugh at me and hurt me (consciously or not), and I am very much recognized as a weirdo. But at the same time I feel accepted, and while there are misunderstandments, I often feel perceived as an important weirdo, enjoyable and nice one.
It takes time (time and labour, and pain) to figure it all out. But hey! you can do it. You are sweet, beautiful, gifted and blessed in so many ways. Love yourself, and love other people, and enjoy your life. And, of course, keep posting. Good luck.

 

[Amber]

I know I won't be loved for saying that, but while you're seeing yourself as a victim, you'll never fix your problem...

Of course it's hard to change "roles" now that everybody is used with this situation, but the fact is: since the beggining you accepted the bullying. If you had refused to be bullied and faced the bullies right away, they would have stopped, but you decided to play the victim role.

I don't think homeschooling is the right option. Run away from the battle is what cowards do, but maybe you're too young and naive to realize that... As everybody is saying the bullying will stop as you grow up but the way you feel about dominant and confident people won't.

This is the time for you to learn how to deal with this kind of people because they will always be there somehow in your life. Maybe it will be your husband, your boss, co-workers, etc. If you don't develop the skills now, you'll never be confident enough to be successful in your life, and this is the bottom-line... Confidence is one of the most important skills one can learn in order to be successful not only in the professional life but also in the personal life.

I'm sorry if was kind of rude, my intention was to help,

Amber

 

[thequirkster]

Amber, you can't be serious.

You're basically saying that the abuse she cops everyday, and the horrible feelings that she experiences so often, has been brought about by her own doing, or, actually, by her negligence to act immediately when she was first abused.

We're talking about a 14 year old kid here. You say your intentions are to help, but what help or advice have you offered? Any words of experience? Anything that is actually beneficial to for her to hear? It's all very well to say "You should have stopped the bullying at the very beginning", but what 14 year old has the foresight to see exactly what the consequences of ignoring snide remarks from a couple of idiots will be down the track?

You say your intention is to help. What possible solutions are you suggesting? How can she "fix her problem"? What possible insight on life do you have that can put into perspective the way she is being treated?

Saying that she is playing the victim is easier than actually facing the problem. Saying that by leaving a place where she is constantly and hatefully abused is cowardice is indicative of your ignorance.

Why don't you come back when you have something intelligent to say.

Diva, I know your pain. My sister was tormented for years by bullies and she is the toughest, most loving person I know. She is well-adjusted and has direction, ambition and incredible wisdom. Don't ever let yourself believe that any of this is your fault. The people that abuse you are the real cowards. Never let their ignorance get to you.

Please, get back to us on how things are going. You have my total support.

 

[Aleksandros]

Hi Diva, I've been bullied myself at 2ndary school and I'm sad to learn that you have to go through such unpleasant experiences. What I'd like to say is that, 1st of all, you're a bright teenager, like a number of victims of bullying and unlike the dickheads (sorry, I can't help being abusive when I mention such people) who have insulted you. Be proud of it! And as much as possible, keep working hard as you did so far, you'll benefit from it in your future career and you'll get higher than those shallow people who may be popular in their school but won't achieve anything significant later in life. Their hour of glory is almost over already, whereas you've got bright prospects - just keep working! Apart from that, what you're saying suggests that you have been the victim of racist or at least xenophobic remarks; have you talked about that with your parents, or a teacher or any person who might take appropriate action? Xenophobic insults are sth our society takes very seriously, and which calls for sanctions. Also, it would be good if you could get in touch (perhaps with the help of a mediator at your school) with people in your area who have experienced similar things, or at least who have personalities close to yours (quiet, sensitive). This should allow you to make new friends (I know it's easy for me to say, but still, there might be ways of meeting people you haven't explored yet). Finally, remember that all the people on this website are supporting you and want you to succeed.

Good luck for the future

Al.

 

[luke_hates_drama]

:roll:

 

[maggie]

I know I won't be loved for saying that, but while you're seeing yourself as a victim, you'll never fix your problem...

Of course it's hard to change "roles" now that everybody is used with this situation, but the fact is: since the beggining you accepted the bullying. If you had refused to be bullied and faced the bullies right away, they would have stopped, but you decided to play the victim role.

I don't think homeschooling is the right option. Run away from the battle is what cowards do, but maybe you're too young and naive to realize that... As everybody is saying the bullying will stop as you grow up but the way you feel about dominant and confident people won't.

This is the time for you to learn how to deal with this kind of people because they will always be there somehow in your life. Maybe it will be your husband, your boss, co-workers, etc. If you don't develop the skills now, you'll never be confident enough to be successful in your life, and this is the bottom-line... Confidence is one of the most important skills one can learn in order to be successful not only in the professional life but also in the personal life.

I'm sorry if was kind of rude, my intention was to help,

Amber

i disagree with much of your post.. esp. you saying that depressed diva "sees herself as a victim" and "since the beginning she accepted the bullying"..that's ludicrous. She was thrust into the role of victim the minute the assholes started bullying her. And, just because she felt alone and defenceless..doesn't mean she accepted it :roll:

 

[granadan]

For info on UK Hoe ed, look at http://www.education-otherwise.org/

I home schooled Mike for a few years due to bullying issues and we had an awful lot of fun. It's a great option if you want to do your own thang (and show 'em all that school isnt as good as a kids own appetite for new info is)

 

[sidney]

Hey there Diva, i got bullied for a while bout 2 years back so you have my sympathies,everyone picked on me cus i was the quiet geek on the class i hated it but i think u should tell the principal how bad it is and i know it will be hard to do but ignore those insults those people will get what they deserve someday, they're jerks,so their words mean nothing, god i hate assholes like that id love some big truck to run em over!
I really really hope things get better for you, im in skool in the UK and doing GCSE's this year too if u wanna talk then add me [email protected]