I wrote on here a couple of days ago about my success story for trying to overcome generalised anxiety and performance social anxiety.
A lot of aspects I have got over although the performance social anxiety I haven't really covered yet in therapy. I feel extremley self conscious if I have to show any kind of initiative in front of other people especially if they ask me to do something. Just feel like the are watching my every move and if i stand there not knowing what to do they are thinking 'shes so stupid and useless' I cant imagine being at work and having to put up with being in a work situation for 8 straight hours, it makes me want to cry thinking about it.
Yesterday I was at my boyfriends house and we were in his kitchen he was cooking a meal for himself, his dad and me. He was running a little late on preparing food so he was asking me to do various things. He put some flour into a cup and asked me to stir it. So I did it trying to wisk it round but i didnt feel like i could do it properly! And he was just trying to help me and said in a nice way you need to do it like this to get it all off from round the sides. I got so mad at myself that his way of doing it looked so easy and yet i couldnt do it?!?!?! I got all sensitive thinking i cant do a simple stupid thing like that and snapped at him saying do it yourself then!!
Then he said do you want to grate some cheese for me instead then and i just got all tearful thinking i wont even be able to do it the anxiety is too strong especially because of what just happened.
He knows I feel this way about things but I think he was trying to encourage me to do them so i get more confident. I just replyed with no cause ill just mess it up and had to get out of there so i walked out of the room.
I started silent crying in the living room cause i feel so stupid and worthless that even when my boyfriend asks me to do something I get so anxious and the feeling seems unbareable. What chance do i have if an eployer asks me to do something. He came into the lviing room cause i think he thought something was up but i quickly rushed up the stairs and pretended i was going to the toilet....sat in there for ages and cryed my eyes out.
Im crying now....what the hell is wrong with me
Im sorry just wanted a vent.
A lot of aspects I have got over although the performance social anxiety I haven't really covered yet in therapy. I feel extremley self conscious if I have to show any kind of initiative in front of other people especially if they ask me to do something. Just feel like the are watching my every move and if i stand there not knowing what to do they are thinking 'shes so stupid and useless' I cant imagine being at work and having to put up with being in a work situation for 8 straight hours, it makes me want to cry thinking about it.
Yesterday I was at my boyfriends house and we were in his kitchen he was cooking a meal for himself, his dad and me. He was running a little late on preparing food so he was asking me to do various things. He put some flour into a cup and asked me to stir it. So I did it trying to wisk it round but i didnt feel like i could do it properly! And he was just trying to help me and said in a nice way you need to do it like this to get it all off from round the sides. I got so mad at myself that his way of doing it looked so easy and yet i couldnt do it?!?!?! I got all sensitive thinking i cant do a simple stupid thing like that and snapped at him saying do it yourself then!!
Then he said do you want to grate some cheese for me instead then and i just got all tearful thinking i wont even be able to do it the anxiety is too strong especially because of what just happened.
He knows I feel this way about things but I think he was trying to encourage me to do them so i get more confident. I just replyed with no cause ill just mess it up and had to get out of there so i walked out of the room.
I started silent crying in the living room cause i feel so stupid and worthless that even when my boyfriend asks me to do something I get so anxious and the feeling seems unbareable. What chance do i have if an eployer asks me to do something. He came into the lviing room cause i think he thought something was up but i quickly rushed up the stairs and pretended i was going to the toilet....sat in there for ages and cryed my eyes out.
Im crying now....what the hell is wrong with me
Im sorry just wanted a vent.
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